Redefining Success

How do you define success? There are many different definitions. Some measure success by the bank account balance, house size, or number of toys. Others would look at the letters beside their name, the recognition of peers, or plaques on the wall. Still others would simply look around them and gauge success by comparing themselves with their neighbors. What about you?

For many, it's probably not something that is consciously done, but rather, success would be what makes them feel good about themselves. So, again, for some success is a rare thing indeed. There are many who I have encountered over the years who hardly ever feel good about themselves.

I've thought long and hard about this subject over the years, and done a lot of striving and struggling to reach what I thought were worthy goals. More often than not, in my younger years, I was trying to reach some arbitrary benchmark. "I'll be successful when I get my first real job," or "when I get married... have children... buy a house... get out of debt, earn a promotion, etc..."

At one point I realized that a great part of my struggle was in trying, in my mind, to measure up to what I believed my father expected of me. That always seemed to be a moving target. For a great many men that I speak with, that is a common refrain. We fathers, while usually well-meaning, have a hard time communicating to our children that we love them and are proud of them. The result is a lot of men with driven personalities for whom enough is never enough. But that's a different subject.

A number of years ago I actually sat down and reflected upon what it meant to be successful. How is it defined? How is it measured? How do we know that we've achieved success? I realized that we can't begin with this question, or we are driven again to arbitrariness. It really leads to an existential question, why are we here?

The answer to this question frames the question of success, and the answer comes from one's worldview. For many who believe that we humans are simply the byproduct of the impersonal + time + chance any answer to this question must, of necessity, be purely subjective. We define success for ourselves. The problem with this self-definition is that the payoff for achieving success is fleeting, followed by the question, "now what?"    

But for those who believe in a Biblical interpretation of reality, our reason for being leads us back to a Creator God who made us on purpose. He made us for Himself and intended for us to live our lives in relationship with Him. The Westminster Larger Catechism  states that "Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever." This ancient teaching reminds us that we are not here to serve ourselves.

When Jesus was challenged by some of the legalists of his day to tell them what was the greatest commandment in the law, he replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40) So, Jesus tells us that the chief aim of our life is to walk in proper relationship with God.  

I have a definition of success that I've used for many years now: success is finding what God wants me to do and doing it. This, of course, begins with relationship. God wants us, first and foremost, to be reconciled with him. If we have never come to the place where we've acknowledged our sin and our need of God, that is the first step to take. Everything else flows out of that. God, who created us, knows what is best for us. We are to live our lives in such a way as to maintain that relationship.

I often have people ask me, "how do I know what God wants me to do?" My response is that most of God's will for your life and mine is revealed in Scripture: how we ought to live, treat others, handle our money, etc... When we are exposing ourselves to God's Word and spending time in prayer we learn to hear his voice - maybe not in an audible, weird way, but he still speaks to us. For a good book on the subject, read Bill Hybel's book, "The Power of a Whisper."  

I like this definition because it grounds my life in ultimate reality. This is God's world, after all. History is His Story. He calls us up into that greater story to play our part. I hope that, when I've come to the end of my life, I can say with the Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 4:7, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." This, to me, will be success.

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Sometimes It's Okay To Lean

This is a follow-up on my previous post on the Olympics. There have been some great, inspiring stories that have emerged from the Olympics. One great example took place in the Barcelona Games of 1992. A British 400 meter runner by the name of Derek Redmond was competing in the semi-finals. Watch what happens:  




There are some great lessons here for all of us.

We need each other. Some people think that needing other people is a sign of weakness; far from it. Each of us were created to function better in community. There are times when our best efforts, while inspiring, just are not enough. There are times when life knocks us down and we just don't have the strength to get up on our own. In those times, especially, we learn to thank God for friends.

I like what Kurt Vonnegut said: “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” 

In hard times, we learn who our friends are. The Parable of the Prodigal Son tells the story of a young man who demanded his inheritance early and then left home on a great adventure. As long as he had money, he had friends. But when the money ran out, he quickly found out they weren't real friends at all. Real friends walk in when the fake ones walk out. Who is there for you when no-one else is? Hold on to them tightly. If you're having a hard time finding anyone to be there, remember what God says: "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Sometimes the reward comes from finishing the race. Very few people remember who won that 400 M race, but anyone who saw it will always remember Derek Redmond and his father struggling over the finish line. We felt his pain when he pulled up with the hamstring injury; and then we cheered for him when he struggled to finish on his own. Finally, when his father broke through security to help him, everyone urged them on.

Why? I think because we all relate to hard times. Each of us has been in a situation when, in spite of our best efforts, everything went against us. We know how hard it is to suck it up and keep on going. We know how hard it is to watch those we love suffer. And, yes, we all know that there are times in our lives when we need the support of those around us. Sometimes it's okay to lean.



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There's More to Life Than Gold Medals

The Olympic Games of London have come and gone. I, like many others, spent way too much time watching sports I would never otherwise watch because, well, it's the Olympics. Even with the doping scandals and the bribery rampant in the IOC, the Games still represent so much that is good about sport.

Being Canadian, we've learned to celebrate personal bests rather than gold medals. In fact, a tongue in cheek motto I've heard recently is "bronze is the new gold." Our medal haul was 1 gold, 5 silver and 12 bronze, placing us 13th in the world as a nation - just one short of our goal.

I have to admit to a little bit of frustration watching my fellow Canadians fall "just short," or, in some cases, be disqualified or completely underachieve. For a competitive guy, that can be a little hard to take. But every once in a while I'm reminded that it's not all about winning.

When we consider some of the greatest moments in Olympic history, what comes to mind? Yes, there is Usain Bolt and his sprinting golds and Michael Phelps and his dominance in the pool. But there are also unforgettable stories of those who finished far behind that have grabbed our attention because of what they represent: commitment, dedication, perseverance.

I'm reminded of the story of John Stephen Akhwari, a little known Tanzanian runner, who competed in the marathon in the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. Momo Walde won the marathon gold. One hour later, Akhwari entered the Olympic stadium – the last man to do so. Wounded after a fall and carrying a dislocated knee, he hobbled up to the track for one last push to the finish. He finished to a thunderous applause by a small crowd which will always remember that moment. It was later written of his perseverance – "Today we have witnessed a young African runner who symbolizes the finest in the human spirit. A performance that gives true dignity to sport – a performance which lifts sports out of the category of grown men playing in games." But Akhwari was far more modest. When asked why he did not quit, he replied, "My country did not send me 5000 miles to start the race. They sent me 5000 miles to finish the race."



There's something to be said for finishing in spite of whatever challenges you face. This is even more true in our day-to-day life. It's not always easy and the sun doesn't always shine. Sometimes we get sick, we lose our job, we're faced with unforeseen problems and life just gets hard. What do we do?

We can choose to quit and play the blame game, but what's the good in that? An old family maxim says, "It's a good life if you don't weaken." It's a little simplistic, but the point is that sometimes you just have to keep going in spite of it all.

I'm reminded of what the Apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Akhwari may not have won his race, but he certainly won the respect of a worldwide audience. He had every reason to quit, yet he continued.

You may feel as though you are reaching your limit. You may have encountered difficulties that have rocked your world. It does not mean that you are defeated - sometimes you win just by finishing the race. What is it that helps you to continue even when the road is long and hard? What is it that keeps you going when you feel like quitting? Focus on those things, and finish the race.

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Help In Hard Times

A lot of people I know are going through very hard times right now. It may be sickness, trouble with the kids, marriage issues, financial problems or a host of others. Because of my role as pastor, I get to be a sympathetic ear and offer a little bit of advice. In spite of the wide variety of issues, I've found that there are some commonalities that apply to all of us. This may appear to be more of a sermon than an article. No apologies - it just came out that way. 

The words of Jesus ring as true today as they did when He first spoke them. He said in the first half of John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble." I meet a lot of people who appear surprised that life is difficult, but we shouldn't be. In fact, we really should expect problems. We live in a fallen world with fallen people and we experience pain because of both of those realities. Jesus speaks of another reason.

In John 10:10 He says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." A lot of people have a hard time with the idea of Satan or the devil, but Jesus was very clear that he is real. It's very difficult to look around us today; to read the newspaper or watch the CNN headlines and deny the reality of evil. The Bible further teaches that that there are spiritual forces which are at work in our world beyond what we can see. If what Jesus said was true, we can ask some questions to provide clarity about whatever we might be facing. 

What is the enemy trying to do? 

For some of you, the enemy's goal is to destroy your family. He may do this by using the wounds and hurts of the past to create new tensions and battles today. Our culture has become more and more selfish and less and less responsible. We like quick fixes and easy answers. Life doesn't work that way. Often the enemy finds willing allies in our very own homes - sometimes even us - because we have drifted away from a vital relationship with Jesus Christ.

Nobel Prize winner Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn was so insightful when he wrote about dealing with evil: “If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” It's important to try to step back and look at the big picture. What is at the root of the problems you face?

What is God trying to do?

What we often miss is that God is not surprised by what we're going through. He is very aware of every situation in our lives and is wanting to bring about an outcome that works out ultimately for our good - if we love Him (See Romans 8:28). Jesus said that He has come that we "may have life, and have it to the full." We see examples of what He meant throughout the New Testament as we see descriptions of the life He intended.

In the midst of our challenges, for example, He has offered us His peace. Where there is division, his goal is reconciliation. Where there is bitterness, his aim is forgiveness and healing. Where there is deception, He offers truth; where there is hate, love. He has promised never to leave us nor forsake us. So, whatever we're going through we need to ask ourselves, "where is God in all of this?" To paraphrase Francis Schaeffer, "God is there, and He is not silent." Look for Him and listen.

What should we do?
In light of these two realities - that the enemy seeks to destroy and that Christ comes to give life - what, exactly, are we to do? Our primary responsibility, if we want the best of what God has for us, is to align ourselves with His purposes. As Jesus was speaking to ordinary people with real-world needs, He said in His Sermon on the Mount, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33) This speaks of priorities.

We must remember that God made us, designed us, loves us, and knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what the future holds, knows our strengths and weaknesses; our gifts, talents and abilities, and what will meet our deepest needs. In light of all of this Jesus tells us that the greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."  (Matthew 22:37) This proper alignment enables us to do the right thing even in difficult situations, recognizing that it is God who is at work within us. It might not shield us from pain - life is just hard sometimes - but it can help our perspective, and enable us to see that God can bring good out of bad situations.

As we apply ourselves to this primary relationship through prayer and application of His Word to our lives, we find that there is a foundation of principles upon which we can build our lives. We find direction when the way seems unclear. We find supernatural resources that are provided as necessary. But here's the kicker - there are no short cuts.

Jesus' call to each of us is to "Take up our cross and follow Him." (Matthew 16:24-25) This speaks of obedience regardless of the cost. It means doing the right thing even when we don't feel like it; even when no-one else seems to be. Jesus didn't promise that His way would be easy, but that it would lead to life. Too many people have selective hearing when it comes to the clear teachings of Scripture. They want to pick and choose which parts of it they will adopt and which they will ignore. Yet they expect that all will go well with them. Jesus never promised that.

Hear what Jesus said as He concluded His Sermon on the Mount. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27)

If there's a storm brewing in your life, the first thing you might want to do is to check and make sure that you're building on the right foundation. If you're not, the good news is that God allows U-turns. You can start today to set things right. I've been privileged to watch marriages and families restored and crises averted as people have asked the simple question, "God, what should I do?" It's a great place to start. Go and do likewise.

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If I Had It To Do Over Again...

I officiated at a funeral this morning, and I'm in the process of preparing for another funeral to take place this coming Saturday for a long-time friend and member of my congregation. As a pastor, I have the privilege of being with people as they near the end of their earthly lives. It's a sacred time; often a time when a light of clarity is shone on what is and is not important. I found it timely that I came across an article talking about this very subject this week.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

What I'd like to do is take her top five observations and build on them. Ware writes that there were several common themes which surfaced again and again. Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Ware says that this was the most common regret of all. Many people realized near the end of their lives that they had spent most of their time trying to please others, or fulfilling the expectations of others.

Without a clear picture of who we are and why we are here, all of us tend to go in the path of least resistance, whether that is wasting our lives or sliding into a role laid out for us by others. I've found that there's great freedom when we understand that God created each and every one of us on purpose and endowed each of us with gifts, talents and abilities. It is when we can align ourselves with God's purposes for our lives that we can find ultimate fulfillment.

I'm reminded of the movie "Chariots of Fire," where Eric Liddell, the British Olympic runner, was having a confrontation with his sister. They were devout Christians and Liddell was planning on being a missionary to China. He put that on hold in order to compete for Great Britain in the 1924 Olympics. His sister disagreed with him and felt that he was wasting his time and failing God. Liddell's reply was insightful: "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure." What is it that you do that makes you feel like that?   

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
Ware wrote: "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship." This regret, I believe, comes from the compartmentalization that we have allowed in our world. We've separated work, family, faith, leisure, etc... and as a result work has become something that we have to do in order to "get" to do the rest. Witness the whole "Freedom 55" campaign as evidence of this. We've come to believe that work is a necessary evil.

We must work, and since we have to, we feel we need to get what we can, when we can. This often results in living unbalanced lives, where family is neglected and opportunities are missed. But in God's economy, we understand that healthy work is a part of God's plan for our lives. Looking back at the last paragraph of the previous point, it's about finding what we were meant to do. When our activities match up with God's design for us, fulfillment is the result.

The second part of the equation is maintaining proper priorities and balance. We were not designed to work all the time; neither were we designed to be without work for extended periods of time. In his book, "Choosing to Cheat," Andy Stanley speaks of making the choices to give quality time to our families and our God. It leads to a lot less regret.   

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
In her book, Ware writes that "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result." Many would interpret this as an invitation to "let 'er rip" on anyone who gets in your path. But that is equally unhealthy.

Good emotional health results partly from a sense of wholeness, of being true to yourself. Learning healthy communication skills ought to be a prerequisite for entering adulthood. The Bible gives great advice when it says to "speak the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15) It also teaches us how to avoid the pitfalls of bitterness - by developing the disciplines of forgiveness (Romans 12:9-21) and prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
 
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Ware shares that "There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." This speaks to, what I believe, is one of our societies biggest problems: the loss of community. With our highly mobile, busy lifestyles, it takes real effort to maintain healthy relationships with friends.

It will be interesting to see whether the newest technology  - twitter, Facebook, etc... will actually have the long-term affect of bringing us together or pushing us further apart. I have been able to renew acquaintances with long-lost friends over the internet, but has it been at the expense of other relationships that could be more rewarding? The bottom line is that we should hold each other more closely. Real friends are hard to come by.  

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Finally, Bronnie writes that "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

It speaks again of expectations: of trying to be what others expect you to be. I find this is true particularly of certain personality types. Phlegmatics, for example, are much more likely to "go with the flow" and not bother to express their opinion. They genuinely like to get along and feel good about deferring to others. However, the downfall often comes later when they wake up one day with a house they don't like, driving a car they didn't choose, living a life they hadn't envisioned for themselves. It's okay to say what you want! Just do it respectfully. This is also a reminder to all of us to be sure to include others in the decision-making process.

When we have a proper view of God we can place everything else in its proper context. Jesus said "I have come that you might have life, and have it to the full." The Bible speaks often of the joy-filled life. What do you really want out of life?

Interestingly, sociologist Tony Campolo recounts another survey - this one of octogenarians - who were asked "If you had life to live over again, what would you do differently?" Their top 3 answers were similar to those above. They said: 

• They would risk more.
• They would reflect more.
• They would do more things that would live on after they were dead.

Similar answers, but slightly different. I think the bottom line for all of these is that we need to be living our lives with a view to its brevity. Life passes quickly, and we need to remember that one day, it will be someone else planning our funeral. What do we want said of us? How can we live a life that is fulfilling? How can we make the most of the time that we have?

I think each of those questions leads us back to our relationship with God. When Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment in the law (in other words, what is most important) He replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-39) Love God and love people. Sounds like a recipe for a great life. Try it, you might like it!


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Milestones

There are markers in our lives that represent significant events or sometimes just the passage of time. There seem to be a lot of those for me, in particular, this year. My youngest son just turned 18 and graduated from High School. My middle son, this spring, became the first of my children to get married. This fall my wife and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage and 30 years in ministry. I will also turn 50 this year! It seems like a good time for reflection.

These years have been called middle-age by some, but not many of us live to be 100 so that's a little bit of a misnomer. My father passed away at 62, so who knows? Regardless, the time seems right to look back at what I might have done differently, so that some following behind might learn from my mistakes, which are many. What would I do differently if I had it to do over again?

I would have had pre-marital counseling. This would have saved my wife and I a tremendous amount of grief. It's amazing to me that the 19 year old version of myself thought that he knew so much, and how little he actually knew. I made a lot of mistakes as a young married man. Thankfully, I married an understanding woman who believed in me and in the institution of marriage, and stuck with me through those growing pains.

As someone who officiates at a lot of weddings, I have made it a policy not to perform a wedding without first providing premarital counseling. I make sure to cover the purpose of marriage, communication, finances, worldview and whatever other issues arise. It's a lot of work, but I feel a lot better about performing the ceremony.

I would have found a mentor (or mentors) as a young man. There were different people who spoke into my life at different times, but I would have been much more intentional had I known the difference it would make. I have learned through discussions that many men feel the same as I felt those many years ago - lost. They are thrust into a world of responsibility for which they are not prepared and forced to sink or swim. It's by the grace of God that most of the mistakes I made didn't have serious repercussions. Having a mature mentor for advice would have saved me a lot of problems.

I would have stayed out of debt. Financial problems are a major source of strife in marriage and life in general. Much of the problem is the easy availability of credit and a lack of understanding of the consequences of getting in over one's head. I readily admit that I had no idea what I was doing when we first got married. It takes only a short time to rack up debt and many years to climb out. I'm glad it wasn't worse, but we certainly could have done better. I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University to everyone. If I had known the principles he shares in this course when I was younger, I would have been spared a world of grief.

I would have gone further in school. I have made a commitment to be a life-long learner. I read, attend conferences, take courses, etc..., but I regret not spending more time on a formal education. Although they say it's never too late to learn, the best time to do that is when you are young and your mind is a little more elastic. Investing in the right education will pay off down the road. I suggest starting with the liberal arts until you find your passion; then focus on it.

I would have asked more questions. When you don't know, assumptions are the enemy. It would have been great to have had Google way back when! My repair jobs would have been a lot more successful. Information is power and the best way to get information is to ask the right people the right questions.

I would have spent more time with my father. There are some opportunities that we can't get back. Don't miss out on the chance to spend time with people you love and tell them how you feel. The day will come when you won't be able to do that.

All in all, so far it's been a great ride. My biggest lessons learned are these: life can be hard, but God is faithful. The best decision I ever made, as a seventeen year-old kid, was to commit my life to follow Christ . I'm so very thankful that I did.

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Does Your Life Make Sense?

I wanted to continue on with the theme I discussed earlier this week and talk about the challenges of modern man. Our culture has largely embraced a conflicting view of reality. In many things, most people that I meet could be considered to be functional atheists. In other words, regardless of what they say they believe, they live their lives as if God doesn't exist.
  

Yet they find this type of life ultimately dissatisfying. It doesn't conform to reality as we know it. If there is no God, for example, how is it that we can satisfactorily explain things like love, sacrifice, hope, etc... If they are simply the products of "millions of years of evolution," than they are merely chemical reactions.

Years ago, my brother was in a discussion with an atheist couple at their home. He asked the husband if he loved his wife. He responded that, of course, he loved his wife. He then asked him what his basis for love was. Without appealing to some higher source, was it not just a chemical reaction - his response to her pheromones? He said that, yes, that would be the scientific and rational explanation. What then, would happen, if someone were to come along with a stronger chemical than his wife? Based on his worldview, is there no other explanation for love?

His wife looked at him expectantly, wanting to hear the answer as well. He finally asked my brother to leave. Apparently the question hit a little too close to home.

C.S. Lewis dealt with this question on a different level - the longing of human beings for what we call heaven. It's not simply a "Christian" thing, cultures have believed in an afterlife throughout history. This is how he explains it: "Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing."

Francis Schaeffer has explained this point well. Modern man, says Schaeffer, resides in a two-story universe. In the lower story is the finite world without God; here life is absurd, as we have seen. In the upper story are meaning, value, and purpose. Now modern man lives in the lower story because he believes there is no God. But he cannot live happily in such an absurd world; therefore, he continually makes leaps of faith into the upper story to affirm meaning, value, and purpose, even though he has no right to, since he does not believe in God.

I see this all the time. We have holdover values of our culture's Christian heritage. Couples who would declare their lack of faith due to the hypocrisy of some Christians but, yet, will stand at a Christian altar to declare their vows before a God in whom they don't believe. (No hypocrisy there!) Another example is parents who have no desire to be Christians, or no intention to have their children live as Christians, yet bring their child to a church for baptism or dedication.

Perhaps nowhere is it more obvious than at the loss of a loved one. There are the rare occasions when the deceased are coldly placed into the ground without ceremony or sentiment. But, more often than not, regardless of the life lived or the beliefs espoused, those remaining look for words of encouragement and hope that there is something beyond the grave.

As a pastor, I've thought long and hard about these issues, and had my share of discussions with people from all walks of life. The truth is that people are hungry for spiritual meaning and yet are very unsure where to find it. Our post-modern culture has also tried to redefine the rules of engagement by declaring such maxims as "all truth is relative" and "history can't be trusted," etc...

Yet the law of non-contradiction still stands: two antithetical propositions cannot both be true at the same time and in the same sense. In other words, we're not all right.

As Ravi Zacharias says, "truth, by definition, is exclusive." Some 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ stood before Roman governor Pontius Pilate, who was determining whether or not to have Jesus crucified. Jesus said to him: "In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." Pilate's response is a question people have been asking ever since - "What is truth?"

If Jesus is who He says He was - and He is - none of us can afford to ignore Him. It is ironic that in Iran, where conversion from Islam to Christianity is punishable by death, there have been more conversions in the past 15 years than in the past 300. Yet, in the "free" West, Jesus' name is most often used as a by-word. The temptation for many is to assign Him a place with the "other" religious leaders who have come and gone and to respect His teachings. Yet, Jesus didn't come as a mere teacher, He came as Messiah, to give life and to make our lives meaningful and everlasting. What will you do with Jesus?

I'll leave the last word with C. S. Lewis:  "A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

Related Articles:
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"And That's The Truth..."
Book Review: "Why I Still Believe"
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Scott Jackson - My Battle With Depression

This Sunday I will be participating in the walk/run for defeating depression. With that in mind I have asked Scott Jackson to share his story of his battle with depression. I hope that this helps someone.

This is a guest post by Scott Jackson.

Scott Jackson

The question is - how does a Christian get depressed? You know you're going to heaven in the end. Jesus loves you. Your church loves you. Your family loves you. Your dog loves you. What's your problem?

Well, I've read a lot about it. Depression could be spiritual or physical. Mine was both. I believe Satan wants to take out ministry leaders so attacking me would be a certainty. But doctors told me that I have had 30 years of staying up late and pushing my body clock to the point where my brain doesn't know when to sleep. We all have an internal clock that says "it's time for bed" but I would ignore it and wait for my second wind and work into the night. Well, my body finally said "stop I've had enough" and I suffered my many emotional crashes, seemingly triggered for no reason. I didn't feel tired.

I'm no doctor but as I understand it, chemicals in your brain are released and they give you energy to work, think, focus and so on. For me, the chemicals were not releasing properly causing confusion and a lot of pouting.

Hmmm. You listen to the radio. You hear a smiley, happy DJ. But there are times when we don't really feel perky and we have to act. Off the air I would begin weeping and moaning, and then stop long enough to introduce a song and then return to the moment of despair.

One day, in one of those moments of moaning and wailing, everyone in the station could hear me through the walls. Steve Jones came in the studio and stood there for five minutes, probably deciding whether I was stable enough to do the show. I remember it well. I didn't look at him. I paced the room, cried and introduced the next song, with the listeners not knowing the situation. Steve left, seemingly satisfied that things were not beyond control. Until the next day.

In the middle of my show at 11am I crashed. I couldn't focus on the show. Concentration was lost. Hopelessness set in. I left.

Then came the wave of "I don't care".

I don't care.

About anything.

Depressed people care about nothing and have no reason to get out of bed in the morning. I'd tell my wife - "I don't care. There's nothing to get out of bed for. Nobody will miss me at work. Who cares". I spent time with a psychologist who was very helpful to get me past the situation - most of the time.

My family doctor had me experiment with three different anti-depressants until he found the right combination for me. Yes, I tried Prozac. It wasn't the best in my case. My wife was very patient through all of this. Two nights in a row, while I had insomnia from the anti-depressants , I took a mittful of sleeping pills.

On anti-depressants I counted 13 side-effects. Some visible, some not. Amnesia is the annoying one. Not remember what I told people and repeating myself.

There's lack of focus. That's the worst and being unable to compose a memo to my staff, or work on a detailed project. Couldn't do it.

Hair loss - which nobody wants, especially guys.

Nightmares. Really weird.

Another side effect was stage fright, which prevented me from going on the radio. I was just afraid that I couldn't speak coherently, so I stayed away. I stayed off the air for four months.

Anxiety and panic. Not looking forward to upcoming situations, both personal, family and work-related. I started saying to Janice "cancel that!". It was a canceling rampage of lunch dates and fun nights for weeks.

Thoughts of suicide. I thought the point of an anti-depressant was to avoid those thoughts, but sometimes you have them anyway.

One day, working at home on my laptop I went through an hour of sweat, in the middle of winter. I thought, "this is really weird. I'm not a sweaty person. One of the side effects.

Anhedonia - the inability to find any pleasure from daily life.

Akathisia - the inability to sit still. Legs jiggle endlessly.

Muscle twitches, which you can see through my shirt.

Even on anti-depressants I would have two crashes a week. Usually what triggers depression is when someone cancels my plans at the last minute.

So, not focusing, forgetting stuff and turning my disposition on a seconds notice makes for an unstable boy.

My Christian friends, and believe me I have very few true friends, say hurtful things like, "oh you need to read your Bible more". Can't. Can't focus. "You need to got to church more". Don't want to because everyone asks me "how are you doing" and I don't feel like telling anyone, so skipping church is the way out. Or they tell you, "you need to sing worship songs to God". Can't. Can't focus. Extreme ADD. Can't do it.

After promising to "be in my corner" during these months, my best friend deserted me in my greatest time of sorrow. Other friends were "unavailable" and screened my calls. Other friends who cared enough to listen actually tuned me out while still smiling and nodding. Nobody listened. Nobody really cares about other people. Everyone is too busy with their own busy lives.

I met with a psychiatrist for medical help, The Barrie Healing Rooms for spiritual help and a psychologist every two weeks, who was wonderful.

In March I announced to the LIFE staff what was going on. Obviously something was up - I was never at work more than an hour a day.

Generally, people fear what they don't know. There's the "C" word (cancer) we don't like to say. And there's the "depression" word that suggests someone is c-c-crazy.

I have decided to try "a day of rest" each week. It worked for Jesus so I thought I'd try it. I was inspired by the book "Velvet Elvis" in which Pastor Rob Bell turns off his cell phone, computer, texting, email - everything. No contact. No work on his day of rest. I like that.

And I have vowed to God, that when this is over, I will use it as my testimony to help anyone else who loves God, but won't get out of bed.

If you want to help a depressed person, help move them physically from the room they are in. Go outside, turn on the TV, talk about an upcoming event - anything to take their mind off the moment. If they tell you to buzz off, try again. Depressed people want to be pulled out of the moment but won't admit it. 

Scott Jackson is the president of Trust Communications and laid the groundwork for the launching of LIFE 100.3, which launched in 1999. He is also an author and produced More Radio magazine. 

Related Articles: 

Get Over It 

"Turn it Off" - The Principle of Restoration 

"Take Out The Trash" - The Principle of Transformation 

Developing Great Habits 

Life Lessons From A Fellow Traveler

 

Life Lessons From A Fellow Traveler

I'm at that age when I seem to spend a lot of time reflecting, and I think that's a good thing. I was thinking today about lessons that have been learned along the way that have made a difference in my life and I thought that I'd share some of them with you.



There's no substitute for hard work.
This was one of the most important lessons I've learned. I remember when my father got me a short-term job with a friend of his who had a construction company. He told me to make sure that I put in a good hour's work for every hour I was paid. I was just a kid then, but I took it to heart. The next summer the owner called me and offered me a job for the whole summer. I wasn't cut out for construction, but I always gave it my best effort.

I remember when I couldn't find any full-time work and went to work seasonally on my Uncle Ben's farm. I would pick tomatoes, dig potatoes, hoe weeds and pick beans. The lessons that I learned on that farm have stuck with me all my life. The tractor would turn up the ground ahead of me and I would follow along picking potatoes with my bare hands, getting filthy in the process. My Uncle said, "That's clean dirt. Never be ashamed of getting your hands dirty with honest work." That's good advice. I've found in life that there's almost always a job to be found if you look hard enough and you're willing to work. There's a dignity in work that is not found in anything else. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10) 

Remember who you are.
My mother and father would both tell me this to try to keep me out of trouble. For the most part it worked. In the back of my mind I always remembered that what I did would reflect on my parents and my family. That made a big difference in the way that I behaved. My name meant something to me (it still does). I was named after my father and didn't want to do anything to bring shame to him.

This has carried over into my faith as well. As a Christian, I'm very aware that I bear the name of Christ. I try to live my life in such a way as to enhance God's reputation in the world. One of the most frustrating things to me as a Christian leader are "Christians" who lie, cheat and steal, etc... Hypocrisy has been identified as one of the main reasons many have rejected Christianity. As Mahatma Gandhi said: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." What I hope is that I can live out what the Apostle Paul said others should see: "Christ in you, the hope of glory." (Colossians 1:27)

Time spent sharpening your machete is not wasted time.
Not a lot of us use machetes around here, but in the sugar cane fields of the Caribbean Islands they are a necessity. You can waste a lot of time hacking away at sugar cane with a dull blade, when taking the time to sharpen it will make you a lot more efficient. This principle was shared to me by an old preacher when I was working in Jacksonville, Florida. It speaks of preparation and education, whether formal or informal.

Since that time I've tried to make personal growth a regularly scheduled part of my life, whether that be a college course, a seminar, a good book or a lesson on CD. There is so much available today, that there really is no excuse for a lack of growth. This did not come naturally for me so, as for all change, I had to create space in my life for growth to take place. What I've found, though, is that taking this regular time to learn and grow has made my job much easier because my skills improve. It was a valuable lesson.

What are the greatest lessons that you've learned in your life?

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