Just Do The Right Thing!

There have been so many news stories recently that have hit on the subject of character and integrity that I just had to write about the subject. From Newt Gingrich and his womanizing, to the death of Joe Paterno after leaving a tarnished legacy, the landscape seems barren if you're looking for people to look up to. Besides this there are the people I know or have known closer to home, seemingly oblivious to the affect their bad decisions are having and will have on the people around them. I was reflecting on this recently in my own life. I want to finish well.

An article I read today drew attention to the dalliances of notables like John F. Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Margaret Trudeau and many others. It's a sad reality that leads to so many questions. Is it just inevitable that everyone will fail? Can no-one be trusted? Does it really matter anyway? Who are we to judge? Why bother trying?

There's a parallel to our times in the Old Testament book of Judges. My brother reminded me of it this morning. Judges 21:25 says, "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes." Since there was no-one to take charge, and the people had abandoned God, everyone did what was right in their own eyes. No absolute standard, no social mores to speak of, just everyone doing their own thing. What was the result of that kind of thinking?

A quick read of Judges reveals what you'd expect - anarchy. There are stories of murder, deceit, betrayal, disloyalty, adultery, etc... Sound familiar? When people no longer accept that God's standard applies to them, anything goes. Interestingly, the atheist philosopher Nietsche also predicted this. He believed that the atheist of the twentieth century would realize the consequences of living in a world without God, for without God there are no absolute moral values. Man is free to play God and create his own morality. Because of this, prophesied Nietzsche, the twentieth century would be the bloodiest century in human history. As T.S. Eliot said, "If you will not have God (and He is a jealous God) you should pay your respects to Hitler or Stalin."

My point is not that there is a direct line of cause and effect from abandoning God to immorality (even if that is true), but that there's been a gradual shift that has had devastating effects. I make no effort here to throw stones at atheists or agnostics and their lack of morality. I take exception, rather, to those who claim the name of Christ and yet have the morality of an alleycat and lack the courage of their own stated convictions.

I am a great believer and recipient of God's amazing grace, but this does not give us license to live debauched lives. The apostle Paul answered this directly in Romans 6:1-2. He asked and then answered his own question: "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!" No, there is a higher standard for us to reach.

I know that none of us are perfect, but we all need to raise the bar. We value qualities like courage, faithfulness and self-sacrifice because deep down we know they are right. Regardless of Joe Paterno's record and his accomplishments and high standing in his community, if he knew someone on his staff was abusing a young boy and did nothing to stop it, he was wrong. Unfortunately, that failure to stand up when he needed to will be a part of his legacy. If Newt Gingrich cannot be trusted to be faithful to his wife and has demonstrated a pattern of infidelity, how can he be trusted with running one of the most powerful nations on earth?

So, what are we to do? Recently I saw a program honouring the heroes of 9/11 - the first-responders. Brave men and women risked, and many lost, their lives unselfishly to save total strangers. I also recently watched the movie "Courageous," a new release challenging men to make and keep commitments. This world is crying out for men and women who will live lives of integrity.

I'm reminded of Billy Graham, one of the few public figures who towers above the landscape of the twentieth century. Billy decided early on that he would go the extra mile to ensure that not only his character, but also his reputation was protected. He and his team put guidelines in place to see that the finances of their organization were above board and beyond suspicion. He was instrumental in founding the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA) which provided other similar organizations with the guidelines needed to protect their reputations.

He also took steps to keep himself from even a hint of sexual misconduct, refusing to meet privately with women and having staffers check his hotel rooms to be sure he could not unknowingly be placed in a compromising position. This may seem excessive, but Billy found it reasonable because of what was at stake. There are a great many people who would still love to find a skeleton in his closet. Billy is of the school that believes that if anyone has anything bad to say about you, just be sure they are lying.

Who are your heroes? Who would you seek to emulate? As a believer, my sincere desire is to be like Jesus Christ. I know I won't be perfect, but I think, following Him, I'll have better results than I would following the likes of Charlie Sheen. I want to be faithful to my wife. I have no desire to be a statistic. I want to set a good example for my sons and for my congregation. I don't want to ever have someone say that I took the easy way out. I don't want to see how much I can get away with, but rather what I can accomplish for Christ.

I want to do the right thing. So, each day I will try to start my day with God, inviting Him to lead me, recognizing that I can't do this alone. If I stumble, I'll quickly admit my error and get back up. I will guard my heart against wrong attitudes. I will look for and listen to wise counsel. I will remember that there are people who are watching me who will be affected if I fail. I will keep myself accountable, first of all to God, but also to my family and my church. I want to finish well. God help me.

Related Articles:
Book Review: The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham
Billy Graham and Woody Allen
Men Without Chests
What To Do When You Fail
What's Your Integrity Worth?
Seven Keys For A Better Life

Book Review: "The Book of Man - Readings on the Path to Manhood"

A number of years ago I attended an auction where I successfully bid for a box of old books. When I got home I found among them a book called "The Sunday Reader at Home" from 1896. The book was a collection of short stories, poems and tales all designed to teach life lessons. As I began reading "The Book of Man" I immediately was drawn to the similarity.

William Bennett served as the Secretary of Education in the U.S. under Ronald Reagan and is a New York Times best-selling author. What I most like about Bennett is that he writes with a purpose. While I got this book from the publisher for free in return for a book review, I would have purchased it nonetheless. It is written in response to the crisis of manhood in our culture. As he quotes David Brooks as saying in his introduction: "One-fifth of all men in their prime working ages are not getting up and going to work."

Probably more telling are his own words: "There was once a common understanding in our society among men that there are standards of action and behavior to which men should hold themselves. Men, the code dictates, among other things, keep their word, whether in writing or not, men do not take advantage of women, men support their children, and men watch their language, especially around women and children. The code of men is fading."

This book is written to provide a tool with which to instill these positive values into the lives of their own children. I wish I had found this when my children were younger - it would have made my life so much easier. Many will find parts of this book challenging due to its content (some stories are ancient tales), but it's good to be stretched. The short readings are broken down into six different areas of life, and are aimed at calling out the very best in the masculine soul.

Part 1 is called Man in War. This is not to promote war or violence as an answer, but to recognize that there are times when a man needs to take a stand and risk his own welfare for the sake of those he loves. This includes the famous St. Crispin's Day Speech by Shakespeare, a poem by Wordsworth, a piece by Winston Churchill and profiles from modern-day men of honour.

Part 2 is titled Man at Work. It is designed to teach once again the value of hard work, which in large part has been lost in our culture. As Bennett quotes Roosevelt as saying, "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." This section opens with the story of a "proud sanitation worker" and ends with "Pensees" by Blaise Pascal. In between you'll find a tremendous variety of great readings.

Part 3 is called Man in Play, Sports, and Leisure. It is a call for men to recreate responsibly, moving away from the modern toys which tend to turn off both body and mind. It speaks of the pursuit of excellence in all that we do, beginning with the story of "Pistol" Pete Maravich, one of the NBA's all-time greats. There are sections from Tolstoy, Lincoln, and Francis Bacon as well as pieces by and about many more current personalities.

Part 4 is Man in the Polis. This refers to the need for men to take their part in the body politic, whether that means government service or simply being a responsible member of society. As Edmund Burke wrote, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This chapter is aimed at preventing that eventuality. It includes interesting pieces like a speech given by David (Davey) Crockett before the U.S. House of Representatives. It also features pieces by luminaries like Kennedy, Chesterton, Reagan and Washington. Well worth the read.

Part 5 is about Man with Women and Children. The lessons in this section are sorely needed today as "men are missing from the lives of women and children today in increasing numbers." Men need to learn values of respect, devotion, loyalty and compassion, all of which are seen in these stories. The articles, whether by Yeats, Dickens or Thomas Jefferson, all seek to call out the best of man in support of their family. Add to this the modern profiles and we see how this can still be lived out today.

Part 6 concludes the book with Man in Prayer and Reflection. Bennett states that "the true root of a man's existence is his ability to think and reflect." Part of the problem in our modern culture is that many seem to have lost the capacity or the will to do this. The result is many men who are governed by appetite rather than reason. This section includes glimpses into the spiritual lives of many of the greatest men in world history, including many of the U.S. Presidents and church leaders like Billy Graham and Charles Spurgeon.

This book is not one that you just sit down and read. It is designed to be read, one story at a time, when there is time for reflection and conversation between father and son. As I said earlier, I wish this was available when my children were younger. I highly recommend this for all of you fathers out there.

Related Articles:
Defending Marriage
Why I Believe In Marriage
Video - Regrets of a Father
Book Review: "The Grace of God"

Minding Our Manners

Here's a subject that I've been thinking about often. How is it that we can restore civility to our society? Those who know me well know that I'm not a prude. However, this is getting ridiculous. Everywhere I go I find my senses assaulted with a steady stream of vulgarity and downright rudeness.

I remember as a teenager that every once in a while you might run into someone who wasn't quite up to speed on the social graces, and of course you had some using profanity to act cool. Now it's everywhere, all the time. Does anyone else have a problem with this, or is it just me? I'm really trying to understand.

This subject reminds me of something I read a long time ago about William Wilberforce. If you recall, Wilberforce spent his life fighting the slave trade in Great Britain. It was abolished the year he died. But here's the part that struck me. Read this: “God Almighty has set before me two great objects, the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.” At first reading I have to admit, I found it somewhat amusing. But now I think I get it.

He lived in a horrible time in British history. Not only was the slave trade going strong, but in parts of London, every other house was a tavern, and prostitution was rampant. Many, if not most, of society's elite lived lives of debauchery and gloried in it. When Wilberforce became a Christian, he became convicted that his life needed to amount to something - that was when he declared his two-pointed vision. Many have had ideas and made bold declarations. What was impressive about Wilberforce was the way he set about changing things.

He gave away one-quarter of his annual income to the poor. He fought on behalf of chimney sweeps, single mothers, Sunday schools, orphans, and juvenile delinquents. He helped found parachurch groups like the Society for Bettering the Cause of the Poor, the Church Missionary Society, the British and Foreign Bible Society, and the Antislavery Society. He wrote books to appeal to the upper class to help them realize they had a responsibility as leaders to model responsible behaviour in a civilized society. He also helped to found the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA).

He understood that society is not changed overnight and that what people need are role models. I think the same is true today. As a Christian leader, one of the things that frustrates me the most is watching people of influence, especially parents, setting horrible examples for their kids. Do we really want everyone dropping 'f' bombs in everyday conversation?

And while I'm ranting, why do they have to put that same kind of language in every movie? - and then in Canada, rate it at PG? I don't know how many times I've brought home a movie rated PG or PG-13 for a night, only to find when it starts that the U.S. rating is 'R.' Five minutes in, and 10 'f' bombs later, I've had enough. I don't think that makes us more enlightened, I think it means we couldn't care less about the junk our kids are putting in their minds.

And then there's the music, dare I start on the music - all aimed at the kids. Topping the charts on i-tunes right now is E.T. by Katie Perry and Kanye West featuring sexual dialogue and profanity. Next in line is "S&M" by Rihanna, which is a song about... S&M - aimed at your 13 year old daughter. Here's a line: "Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me." Charming. The rest of the top ten are more of the same, including Jeremih and Fifty Cent and Britney Spears, et al, almost all with the same theme: "I want your body, whoa, whoa, whoa..."

In my line of work, I talk to a lot of people battling low self-esteem issues. Teenage girls are especially prone to this. We're not helping them at all, as a culture, by glorifying artists who are treating women as sex objects. Have you watched MTV lately? I couldn't take much more than a couple of minutes as some singer, dressed as a pimp, surrounded by scantily clad women he calls his b*****s, raps about what he wants to do with them. Wow! Isn't that what you want your daughter to grow up and do - star in a music video with a misogynist rapper? Then we've got the idiocy happening with Charlie Sheen. I think it's a little crazy that everyone's criticizing him for living his life in real life the way he was playing it on his show.

I know I'm ranting, but it bothers me. I was always taught the old computer principle GIGO - "Garbage in, garbage out." What's true about computers is also true about the mind. You fill it with junk, junk is what you get. Here's a challenge: try to live your life in such a way that, if your children knew everything about you, they'd still be proud. And for you Christians out there, live your life in such a way that you enhance God's reputation in the world. Finally, here's a verse from the Bible that I think is very appropriate for today:"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." (Isaiah 5:20) That verse was written some 2,800 years ago. It could describe a lot of what's going on around us. I'm going to try to do a little better in my corner of the world in making it a safe place for everyone. Anyone in favour?

Related Articles:
What Is A Christ-follower?
Assumptions
Book Review: "It Came From Within!"
I'm offended!

2007 March for Life Ottawa Follow-up

Where do we stand in Canada on abortion? Believe it or not, Canada is the only democratic nation in the world without a law governing abortion. Read this article by London Free Press writer Rory Leishman.

What's Your Integrity Worth?

"Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will." - John D. MacDonald

I was watching the season finale of Survivor tonight. It was interesting watching the different scenarios play out. A couple of weeks ago Yao won a truck but surprisingly gave it to Dreamz, in a deal that would have seen Dreamz give Yao immunity into the final three. Dreamz was the only one of the survivors who did not own a vehicle.

Yao followed through on his part of the deal and Dreamz made all of the right noises about doing the right thing. He said that he would follow through because he wanted to show his young son that being a man meant keeping your word.

You could see the tension on Dreamz' face as the moment of truth arrived. He was wrestling with keeping his word and giving up a shot at a million dollars, or breaking his word and losing his integrity. I was genuinely surprised that he chose to betray Yao and go back on his promise.

There was obviously a great deal of inner turmoil going on with Dreamz - it showed on his face. He looked like he was almost in tears. Later that night he continuously tried to justify himself to the group, but it seemed as though he was trying to convince himself that what he did was right.

Sadly, this contest revealed who he really was. Here's the question for all of us - what would we be willing to do for a million dollars? How do you look at your son and try to explain that sometimes it's okay to cheat and lie? One thing about money - as the Bible says, "the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil."

This Sunday is quote day.

“Defend the Bible? I would just as soon defend a lion. Just turn the Bible loose. It will defend itself.” - Charles Spurgeon

"There are more sure marks of authenticity in the Bible than in any profane history." - Sir Isaac Newton

"Another century and there will not be a Bible on earth!" - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it." - G.K. Chesterton

"A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional...values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process." - C. S. Lewis

Worldview - Part 3 - Morality

Today we're dealing with the third issue in the examination of a worldview, and that is morality. The question is, "how do I determine right from wrong?" Again we'll begin with the perspective of a biblical worldview.

The Bible teaches that morality flows from the very character of God Himself. We learn that God is a righteous God, and that He demands the same of us. The Ten Commandments have provided the framework for the legal system of the Western world for centuries. Those commands are not arbitrary, but are reflections of who God is.

For example, God is the life-giver, the Creator; therefore, we are not to commit murder. It is wrong because each person is created in the image of God and, therefore, valuable. God is faithful, He keeps His commitments; therefore, we are not to commit adultery. He ordained marriage and designed it for one man and one woman for one lifetime. We are to be faithful to each other in that relationship because God is faithful. The same is to be said of God's commands regarding not lying; not coveting, etc... There is a reason these things are wrong - they violate God's character.

In our society today we see the result of decades of moral relativism as our secular culture has done away with a fixed moral compass. As non-Christian influence has expanded we've seen a growing disregard for human life with abortion on demand and an increasing tendency towards euthenasia. If we are simply the products of time and chance and a blind evolutionary process then who is to say what is right or what is wrong.

It was the Nazis after World War II that were being tried for war crimes who clearly demonstrated the difficulty when we declare there are no absolutes. They asked who we were to judge them, by what standard were we going to hold them to account? If there are no absolutes, who judges what is right or wrong? This is where modern man runs into difficulty. On the one hand we know that some things are right and some things are wrong; on the other hand, without an absolute standard we don't know why. We're left with standards that float on the whim of public opinion, watching a legal system make decisions which make us scratch our heads. Much of this stems from the secular worldview embraced by much of Western society.

An argument I've heard from some is that you don't have to believe in God to be moral. This is true. There are, I'm certain, a great number of moral atheists. However, logically, they have no reason to be moral. If they believe that there is no higher authority, and that there are no absolutes, therefore morality is simply one choice among many. They have no reason to be moral unless it is of some personal benefit to them.

Ultimately the question boils down to this: Is there such a thing as right and wrong? Most people, regardless of their religious beliefs, come to the conclusion that there are some things that are simply right or wrong. Where does that realization come from? Scripture would tell us that all humans are born with some sense of right and wrong because they are created in God's image.

Tomorrow we'll look at the final question and then look at some cultural examples.

What To Do When You Fail

I was deeply saddened upon hearing the news recently of the moral failing of Pastor Ted Haggard. Not all of the details have emerged, and I'm not sure I really care about them. The facts are simple. Ted Haggard admitted to sexual immorality and has resigned as Pastor of New Life Church in Colorado and as President of the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE). Aside from the obvious political motivations of the whistle-blower, there are some very important issues raised.

Te Haggard is the latest in a list of high-profile preachers who have had moral failings, including Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart. The saddest part of the whole sordid affair is the damage that is done to the church, both local and general, not to mention his family. Trying to repair the damage that is done in one of these situations is like trying to unscramble eggs. The best that can be done is often to simply try to learn from the experience. So, what can we learn from this?

• Don't put people on pedestals. Ted Haggard founded a church and nurtured it to a weekly attendance of 16,000. That is no mean feat. But it doesn't make him superman. He was a sinner saved by grace, just like any other Christian. He is subject to the same temptations and challenges that anyone else faces. That being said, the greater the leadership role, the greater the responsibility. A Christian leader must take care of his or her personal life, recognizing the impact that they have on those who look to them for leadership. I'm sure that Ted Haggard thought that dealing with his problems would be painful and embarassing, perhaps even career-threatening. However, I'm also sure that the pain he is going through now is much more severe.
• Leaders need accountability. From all appearances, New Life Church did have a system in place to provide for just this type of a situation. However, there doesn't appear to have been anyone in his life in whom he could confide and who could have helped him to deal with his problem before it became a public mess. One of the greatest challenges for leaders is living up to the expectations of their followers. That can lead to being more concerned with our reputation than our character. Integrity means being, in fact, what we say we are. Maintaining integrity requires accountability relationships with people who know you well and who have permission to ask you the hard questions. While this is challenging, prevention is always better than the alternative.
• Churches should avoid becoming a "personality cult." It looks as though this has not been a huge problem with New Life as another Pastor has stepped in and can hopefully lead the church through this dark time into better days. It was the problem with Jimmy Swaggart though. His was the face and the voice of Jimmy Swaggart Ministries and so he refused to receive the discipline of his superiors because he didn't think his organization could survive without him for three years. The Bible teaches us that, in the church, while all are important, none are irreplaceable. When we think that we can't be replaced, we should be.
• Failure does not have to be final. While I'm sure that Ted Haggard and his family feel as though they're living a nightmare, life will go on. Back when Jim Bakker went through his disgrace and imprisonment he became the butt of many a comedian's jokes. But I was impressed with his sincerity in his confessional book, "I Was Wrong." People are generally forgiving if they sense real sincerity. While, quite obviously, things will never be the same for Ted, my hope for him and his family is that they are able to work their way through this and demonstrate the power of God to heal. Someone said that if you've fallen, you might as well pick something up while you're down there.

Life is hard sometimes. People do stupid things. When we've failed we must own up to it; take the consequences. It's not easy to do, but whoever said life would be easy? It's in days like these that I remember what Jesus said: "In this world you will have trouble. But be of good cheer! I have overcome the world." If you believe in prayer, remember to pray for the Haggard family and all of those affected by this.