Shawn McDonald - People Change

Here's a great story that deserves to be shared. Watch this video detailing the big life change that took place for Shawn McDonald. I've met a few with stories like Shawn; it never gets old.



Here's one of his songs. Enjoy.



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I Love Me!

I was having a conversation earlier today with my Youth Pastor and my Children’s Pastor about ministering to different generations, and how difficult that is. Then my cousin, Connie Denbok, another pastor, posted a link to an article that spoke to some of those differences. It was a New York Times article by John Tierney called “A Generation’s Vanity, Heard Through Lyrics.”

The article was not very flattering at all. It spoke of the trend of youth culture away from community and towards selfishness and narcissism. This quote gives the basic findings: “Dr. DeWall and other psychologists report finding what they were looking for: a statistically significant trend toward narcissism and hostility in popular music. As they hypothesized, the words “I” and “me” appear more frequently along with anger-related words, while there’s been a corresponding decline in “we” and “us” and the expression of positive emotions.”

So, according to these psychiatric professionals, there is a trend among our youth and young adults to think of the world through a very ego-centric lens. As John Maxwell would say, we’re all tuned into the same station – WII-FM (What’s In It For Me?) My question is twofold, is this true and why? Of course, I realise, as do the authors of this study, that we speak in general terms. There are exceptions to every rule.

There have been some interesting studies done over the years about generational differences. Every marketing firm uses the characterizations and preferences of the different generations to develop their marketing strategies. The most common generations we deal with are:
Traditionalists - Born between 1925 – 1945
Baby Boomers - Born between 1946 - 1964
Generation X - Born between 1965 – 1980
Generation Y / Millennials - Born between 1980 – 1995

Each of these generations have very different influences. Traditionalists, for example, lived through either or both of the Great Depression and World War 2. Because they've known real hard times, they have a tendency to prefer stability over risk and to shun debt in favour of living within their means. They also tend to trust authority and value loyalty.

Their children, the Boomers, experienced the surge in the worldwide economy after World War 2, the growing impact of television and inter-continental travel, as well as incredible technological advancement. They also saw the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights Movement lived out in their living rooms through TV. Because of all of these influences, Boomers tend to be optimistic, competitive and questioning of authority.

The next generation, Gen X grew up with MTV, Video Games, Personal Computers, and often alone. In their time the divorce rate tripled, both parents were often working and many were latch key children. This group is known for their skepticism. Because of continued advancements in communications, they are eclectic in their beliefs, blending different belief systems. They also tend to be resourceful, self-reliant and adaptive to change.

The generation spoken of in the article is largely made up of the Gen Y/ Millennials. These guys (North Americans) have grown up with a cell phone or blackberry in their hand. They've played every video game system out there. They've also witnessed the rise of terrorism and 9/11, and the increasing concern over the environment. They tend to be more of a realistic generation. They are globally concerned, value diversity and change, flexibility and recognition.

To speak now to the question(s) raised by the article. Is it true that they are narcissistic and selfish, and if so, why? Leaving behind the anecdotal evidence we all could use, what are the factors that could contribute to this? I think there are many. For one, there's the spotlight we've placed on the issue of self-esteem. As psychologist Lauren Slater writes, "Based on our beliefs, we have created self-esteem programs in schools in which the main objective is, as Jennifer Coon-Wallman, a psychotherapist based in Boston, says, 'to dole out huge heapings of praise, regardless of actual accomplishment.'"

We've also eliminated competition in many of our children's sports. There's even a push on now to stop keeping score in children's hockey games, because we may hurt the self-esteem of the losing team. According to Slater and others, there's a growing body of evidence that people with low self-esteem will not necessarily become the underachieving failures we thought. In fact, many with low self-esteem actually turn this to their advantage. They try harder. In fact, "the discrepancy between high self-esteem scores and poor social skills and academic acumen led researchers like Nicholas Emler of the London School of Economics and Roy Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University to consider the unexpected notion that self-esteem is overrated and to suggest that it may even be a culprit, not a cure."

Another factor to consider is an almost limitless exposure to media. They have grown up with the world at their disposal: music, movies, internet, information..., all on demand. When we get what we want, when we want it, and we're told we deserve it, doesn't it follow that we grow to believe the world does revolve around us? I think it certainly is true that many of today's musicians have bought into this and are promoting the "I Love Me" doctrine.

Yet, I've also seen another side to this generation. I've seen many with a very real desire to make a difference. Many of today's youth seem to be looking for a cause to believe in. I think that this is one of the greatest challenges of the church - to present the counter-cultural Gospel of Jesus Christ to a new generation and call them to rise above the trend towards selfishness and to truly make a difference.

How do you counter a lie? Obviously, with the truth. Jesus Christ claims to be the truth, and calls us to join Him in changing the way the world operates. His Gospel, lived out, will turn the world on its ear. Do you want to be great in God's Kingdom? Serve. See Mother Teresa or Sandra Tineo if you want an example. Do you really love God? Fight injustice. Follow the lead of men like Martin Luther King, Jr. and William Wilberforce. Are you tired of dysfunctional families? Love your own. Jesus changed centuries of ingrained prejudice and respected the personhood of women and children. Follow his example.

The truth is, regardless of the generation in which we were born, all of us are deeply flawed, but God loves us anyway. Each of us must choose how we respond to the love of God extended to us. The proud reject God, believing that they don't need Him; but God is drawn to the humble (James 4:6). The Bible tells us that there's really nothing wrong with loving ourselves - as long as we love God first. His love enables us to love ourselves and others. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, here is what He said: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)

The world is a messed up place. It's easy for us to turn inward. But, as John Andrew Holmes said, "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."

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Minding Our Manners

Here's a subject that I've been thinking about often. How is it that we can restore civility to our society? Those who know me well know that I'm not a prude. However, this is getting ridiculous. Everywhere I go I find my senses assaulted with a steady stream of vulgarity and downright rudeness.

I remember as a teenager that every once in a while you might run into someone who wasn't quite up to speed on the social graces, and of course you had some using profanity to act cool. Now it's everywhere, all the time. Does anyone else have a problem with this, or is it just me? I'm really trying to understand.

This subject reminds me of something I read a long time ago about William Wilberforce. If you recall, Wilberforce spent his life fighting the slave trade in Great Britain. It was abolished the year he died. But here's the part that struck me. Read this: “God Almighty has set before me two great objects, the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.” At first reading I have to admit, I found it somewhat amusing. But now I think I get it.

He lived in a horrible time in British history. Not only was the slave trade going strong, but in parts of London, every other house was a tavern, and prostitution was rampant. Many, if not most, of society's elite lived lives of debauchery and gloried in it. When Wilberforce became a Christian, he became convicted that his life needed to amount to something - that was when he declared his two-pointed vision. Many have had ideas and made bold declarations. What was impressive about Wilberforce was the way he set about changing things.

He gave away one-quarter of his annual income to the poor. He fought on behalf of chimney sweeps, single mothers, Sunday schools, orphans, and juvenile delinquents. He helped found parachurch groups like the Society for Bettering the Cause of the Poor, the Church Missionary Society, the British and Foreign Bible Society, and the Antislavery Society. He wrote books to appeal to the upper class to help them realize they had a responsibility as leaders to model responsible behaviour in a civilized society. He also helped to found the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA).

He understood that society is not changed overnight and that what people need are role models. I think the same is true today. As a Christian leader, one of the things that frustrates me the most is watching people of influence, especially parents, setting horrible examples for their kids. Do we really want everyone dropping 'f' bombs in everyday conversation?

And while I'm ranting, why do they have to put that same kind of language in every movie? - and then in Canada, rate it at PG? I don't know how many times I've brought home a movie rated PG or PG-13 for a night, only to find when it starts that the U.S. rating is 'R.' Five minutes in, and 10 'f' bombs later, I've had enough. I don't think that makes us more enlightened, I think it means we couldn't care less about the junk our kids are putting in their minds.

And then there's the music, dare I start on the music - all aimed at the kids. Topping the charts on i-tunes right now is E.T. by Katie Perry and Kanye West featuring sexual dialogue and profanity. Next in line is "S&M" by Rihanna, which is a song about... S&M - aimed at your 13 year old daughter. Here's a line: "Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me." Charming. The rest of the top ten are more of the same, including Jeremih and Fifty Cent and Britney Spears, et al, almost all with the same theme: "I want your body, whoa, whoa, whoa..."

In my line of work, I talk to a lot of people battling low self-esteem issues. Teenage girls are especially prone to this. We're not helping them at all, as a culture, by glorifying artists who are treating women as sex objects. Have you watched MTV lately? I couldn't take much more than a couple of minutes as some singer, dressed as a pimp, surrounded by scantily clad women he calls his b*****s, raps about what he wants to do with them. Wow! Isn't that what you want your daughter to grow up and do - star in a music video with a misogynist rapper? Then we've got the idiocy happening with Charlie Sheen. I think it's a little crazy that everyone's criticizing him for living his life in real life the way he was playing it on his show.

I know I'm ranting, but it bothers me. I was always taught the old computer principle GIGO - "Garbage in, garbage out." What's true about computers is also true about the mind. You fill it with junk, junk is what you get. Here's a challenge: try to live your life in such a way that, if your children knew everything about you, they'd still be proud. And for you Christians out there, live your life in such a way that you enhance God's reputation in the world. Finally, here's a verse from the Bible that I think is very appropriate for today:"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." (Isaiah 5:20) That verse was written some 2,800 years ago. It could describe a lot of what's going on around us. I'm going to try to do a little better in my corner of the world in making it a safe place for everyone. Anyone in favour?

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Only The Black Keys

I thought that you would enjoy this video - I know I did. It's the story the negro spirituals and features Wintley Phipps of the U.S. Dream Academy. Click on the link above.

The Fall Of Civilization

Lately a lot of the talk on sports roundtables has been about the ignorant comments of Don Imus, who managed to insult the entire Rutgers University women's basketball team as well as black women everywhere. Imus is (was) a "shock jock" with a syndicated program on MSNBC and CBS radio. He has since been suspended by CBS for two weeks and apparently suspended indefinitely by MSNBC.

I've been fascinated by the entire exercise partly because of what it reveals about us as a society. Anybody with a pulse and a social conscience recognizes that what Don Imus said was unacceptable. What is remarkable is that the man has been so successful for so long doing basically the same thing. His "schtick" is to use vulgarity and insults to put-down anyone with whom he disagrees or whom he might not like. For this he is paid big money and draws large crowds. He has done so well, in fact, that for years politicians and authors have practically begged to appear on his program. Why?

Are we this starved for so-called entertainment that we enjoy seeing others put down and insulted? The answer obviously is yes.

Perhaps the best point was one that I heard on a radio station as I was driving through Michigan this week. The talk-show host was not questioning whether Imus was wrong, what he was questioning was this: why is Imus wrong and the rappers featured on BET say much worse every day and no-one says a word. It was actually an impassioned statement from a young black man that brought up this point. He was enraged that the black community would put up with the degrading comments directed towards young black women every day on BET and radio by hip hop artists.

I think it's a great point, and it should not be limited to rappers - it's everywhere. There is a general lack of respect in our society that is reflected in everything from basic manners to language to basic TV fare to music. When and why did it become cool to use the "f" word in public? When did we lose the ability to disagree politely with people and, rather, loudly tell them off? When did we lose the ability to produce a good movie with a sound storyline without filling it with gratuitous sex scenes and vulgar language? Why do we feel that we have to try to offend the sensibilities of those around us as if we were all 15 years old? Why is it that you can't just flip through the channels on your TV set without finding something that is completely inappropriate for your children?

I think it's time we started saying "no" to the Imus' of this world by tuning them out. Let the ratings tell the networks to drop these guys. If we continue to listen to this junk, buy these CD's and videos, then whose fault is it really? The responsibility lies with all of us.