Top 5 Blog Posts of 2012 - #5

This post was published back on January 27th of 2012. It's one of my favorites. I'm glad so many felt the same way.

I've been reading a great book lately by John Ortberg called "The Me I Want To Be." John is a pastor in California and formerly a teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago, where I first heard of him. He's a great communicator and does a great job of making complicated issues understandable for the rest of us.

In his chapter called "Think Great Thoughts" he talks about learning how to monitor our thought patterns. For years now I've been speaking about the Biblical mandate to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind," so this was particularly enlightening to me. It's amazing how much our thought patterns control us, and also how we can deliberately reshape those patterns to make positive change. Here's a great illustration John uses:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue
to taunt me with bizarre,
little dangling objects.
The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape.

Two animals, identical circumstances; totally different experiences. The point is that the focus of our thoughts has a great deal to do with our outcomes. On what do you focus?

I speak to people often whose focus is on their problems and how life has done them wrong. Their mindset filters out any of the good things that may be happening around them and, instead, picks up on, and magnifies, any real or perceived slight. Over their lifetime they have unwittingly helped to create a reality for themselves that is far worse than it needs to be.

This is now scientifically verified. As Ortberg writes, "Even twenty years ago, researchers thought the adult brain was genetically determined and structurally unchangeable. But they have since found that even into adulthood the brain is amazingly changeable - it has neuroplasticity. Which synapses remain and which ones whither away depends on your mental habits. Those that carry no traffic go out of business like bus routes with no customers. Those that get heavily trafficked get stronger and thicker. The mind shapes the brain. Neurons that wire together fire together. In other words, when you practice hope, love or joy, your mind is actually, literally, rewiring your brain!"

It stands to reason then, that Scripture would speak to this. Colossians 3:2 tells us, "Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." One of my life verses, Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Ultimately, how we choose to think is up to us, which is why we can point to people of similar backgrounds who chose radically different paths. Your past, your circumstances, your family background doesn't need to define your future. What I have found helpful is to use God's Word as a filter through which I can interpret events. For example, Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Or Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So, here's a question, where are your thought patterns taking you? Again, Ortberg writes, "As a general rule, our emotions flow out of our thoughts. Discouraged people tend to think discouraging thoughts. Worried people tend to think anxious thoughts." Conversely, positive people tend to think positive thoughts. Why not begin today to take charge in this area? Think better thoughts to start moving in a better direction.

Related Articles:
Developing Great Habits
“Put God First” - The Principle of Priority
"Take Out the Trash" - The Principle of Transformation
"Write It Down" - The Principle of Clarity
"Turn It Off!" - The Principle of Restoration
"Do It Now" - The Principle of Inertia

Which Me Will You Be?

Yesterday I did a book review of John Ortberg's "The Me I Want To Be." As I said, it's one of my favorite books already, so I thought that I would take one of his themes and expand on it today.

Each of us make choices in life, some big ones; some little ones. These choices, especially the big ones, have a great deal to do with the people we are becoming. We often are convinced to settle for someone else's version of success, rather than becoming who God called us to be. In the second chapter of Ortberg's book, he mentions a number of different "mes."

The Me I Don't Want To Be
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a pretender. I remember early in my ministry being very intimidated by other pastors who were around me. Actually, they were not called Pastor, they were called "Reverend." They wanted to make it clear to all around that they had earned this distinction, and were very quick to offer up their credentials, degrees, etc... to prove their point. (There's nothing wrong with titles, I'm speaking here of attitude.)

To me, they were simply unapproachable. Please hear me, I am a believer in education, but I think that education often simply makes us more of what we were in the first place. If we were arrogant, intolerant, and boastful before, we'll simply be more-so if we get a degree. But if we're teachable, humble, and caring before, the chances are we'll be more like that. What I learned from those early days is that being qualified doesn't have to make you insufferable. I also found myself drawn to those who had the same letters beside their names, but didn't pretend to be perfect or put on airs.

The Me I Pretend To Be
I find in myself a disturbing tendency - I like to impress people. I can easily act like those I mentioned above. I like for people to think highly of me and, when I'm at my worst, I can bend the truth to try to make that happen. It's like the story that Ortberg shares of the "freshly minted lieutenant (who) wanted to impress the first private to enter his new office, and he pretended to be on the phone with a general so that the private would know he was somebody. 'Yes sir, General, you can count on me,' he said as he banged the receiver down. Then he asked the private what he wanted. 'I'm just here to connect your phone, sir.'" Priceless.

God sees the real me, and if I'm ever to become all that I can be, I need to be honest about who I am. It sounds like a good place to start.

The Me I Think I Should Be
I think we all have a tendency to look around and to compare ourselves with others, doing a mental tally of how we measure up. I have gone to seminars and tried to reproduce in my own life what I've heard that someone else is doing, only to end up frustrated and disillusioned when I realize that I'm not them. Sometimes I've lived my life trying to live up to the expectations that everyone else had for me - a surefire recipe for burnout.

Something that Henri Nouwen said is very insightful here: "Spiritual greatness has nothing to do with being greater than others. It has everything to do with being as great as each of us can be." As Ortber says, "...God's plan is not for you to obey him because you should even though you don't want to. He made you  to want his plan for you."

The Me Other People Want Me To Be
Have you noticed that pretty much everyone has an opinion on how you should change? Your doctor thinks you should exercise more (he's probably right). Your wife thinks you should eat better (she's probably right too). Your boss thinks you should work harder; ad execs think you should spend more money and the government thinks you should pay more taxes. But when I allow others to make those determinations for me, I become less me (though I should exercise more and eat better).

I'm learning that the person I need to please is no-one other than God himself. He knows me like nobody else does, including me. The question is, do I trust him?

The Me I'm Afraid God Wants
"A recent study by the Barna Group found that the number one challenge to helping people grow spiritually is that most people equate spiritual maturity with trying hard to follow the rules in the Bible." This is a major issue because it misses the point: "Jesus didn't come to make bad people good; he came to make dead people live." (See John 10:10)

You can be a very religious person and be far from the best version of yourself. Jesus came to deal with the heart, and to call us to join him in reshaping this world. We can only do this as we understand ourselves as we were meant to be. God can be trusted with your life.

The Me That Fails To Be
When an infant is born, but for some reason is unable to gain weight, it is often diagnosed with what is called Failure To Thrive (FTT), kind of a catch-all diagnosis. This seems to be very common among adults in regards to life in general. There are a great many people who are simply stuck. They can't seem to make the changes that need to be made. They know things aren't right in their marriage, their job, their life, but they can't seem to summon up the courage or the strength to do anything about it.

Perhaps the best way to describe many people is the term Ortberg uses - "languishing." "Languishing is the condition of someone who may be able to function but has lost a sense of hope and meaning." There are many who simply need to open up their hearts to the possibility of hope - that God really does have a better plan for them than they are experiencing right now.

The Me I Am Meant To Be
In my ministry I have had the privilege of watching the lives of people being transformed. I've seen families with long-standing problems and on the verge of breakup be turned around and become life-giving. I've seen alcoholics and drug addicts discover that God actually did have a better plan for them. I've seen negative, critical people with a chip on their shoulder be changed into positive role models. How? By opening themselves up to God's design for their lives.

I've also seen people stubbornly keep up appearances, putting on the facade of religiousity so that they could look good in the community - but never finding the very purpose for which they were created. So close and yet so far... Saint Irenaeus wrote, "The glory of God is a human being fully alive; and to be alive consists in beholding God."       

What has helped you connect with God and his purpose for your life?

Related Articles:
Book Review: "The Me I Want To Be"
Why don't you like me?
Made For Relationship
The Power of the Mind
Developing Great Habits

Book Review: "The Me I Want To Be"

This book by John Ortberg has very quickly become one of my favorites. I found a great deal of useable and practical material in it for both my personal life and for use in my leadership. The premise of the book is that, since God created us, the secret to finding fulfillment in life is to grow in our relationship with Him and to cooperate with Him. 

There are twenty two chapters in this book, so I will not do a synopsis of each. I will, however, list the chapter titles here. Then I will do a synopsis of the seven parts of the book.

1. Learn Why God Made You
2. The Me I Don't Want To Be
3. Discover the Flow
4. Find Out How You Grow
5. Surrender: The One Decision That Always Helps
6. Try Softer
7. Let Your Desires Lead You To God
8. Think Great Thoughts
9. Feed Your Mind With Excellence
10. Never Worry Alone
11. Let Your Talking Flow Into Praying
12. Temptation: How Not To Get Hooked
13. Recognize Your Primary Flow-Blocker
14. When You Find Yourself Out Of The Flow, Jump Back In
15. Try Going Off The Deep End With God
16. Make Life-Giving Relationships A Top Priority
17. Be Human
18. Find A Few Difficult people To Help You Grow
19. Let God Flow In Your Work
20. Let Your Work Honor God
21. You Have To Go Through Exile Before You Come Back Home
22. Ask For A Mountain

Each of these topics could make for an interesting blog (maybe I'll try that later), and John's engaging style holds your attention. Let's look at the different parts.

Part 1 - Finding My Identity
This section is made up of the first two chapters and focuses on understanding ourselves in light of God, and often in spite of ourselves - our past, our mistakes, our critics. We must recognize that, because God Made us, He knows why we were made and how we can be fulfilled. It speaks not of religion, but of a growing relationship with God. This quote perhaps says it best: "There is an enormous difference between following rules and following Jesus, because I can follow rules without following the right heart." (p. 28). The question for us then is, how do we (personally) best connect with God who gives life? We need to build those practices into our lives.

Part 2 - Flowing With The Spirit
Part 2 takes up the next four chapters and speaks of God's plan to release His life into you and I - His Holy Spirit. This speaks of the way in which we allow God to work in our lives. "Jesus does not come to rearrange the outside of our life the way we want. He comes to rearrange the inside of our life the way God wants." (p. 62). This involves surrender and learning how to cooperate with God's Spirit as He works in us. 

Part 3 - Renewing My Mind
The next four chapters deal with engaging our minds in the pursuit of God. Most people don't recognize that our spiritual life has a great deal to do with our thought life. Romans 12:2 is one of my life verses and is the key to this section: "Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." The question is, what are we feeding our minds? Also, how do we manage our attitude, and avoid anxiety? The better we do in these areas the richer our lives become.

Part 4 - Redeeming My Time
The first of four chapters in this section succeeds in taking the mystery out of prayer. Prayer is communicating with God, and many people pray without realizing it. Making prayer a natural part of our lives is vital. The following chapters speak of being honest with ourselves - our personalities, our temptations, our sins, our needs. "We must identify and understand that which threatens our ability to flourish, and only sin can keep us from becoming the person God wants us to become." (p. 145).

Part 5 - Deepening My Relationships
Here we deal with the power of relationships, beginning with our relationship with God. There are levels of intimacy, and many settle for less than the best with God, who knows us better than we do ourselves. We also need others, and the depth of our relationships is up to us. Do we have life-giving relationships? "What distinguishes consistently happier people from less happy people is the presence of rich, deep, joy-producing, life-changing, meaningful relationships." (pp. 182-183). This again requires being honest with ourselves and with others and developing the ability to learn from everyone.

Part 6 - Transforming My Experience
This section speaks to integrating our spiritual life with our everyday life, recognizing that there is no difference in God's eyes. For this reason, God calls us to excellence and full engagement in every area of our lives. The last chapter of this section reminds us that, even in adversity, God is with us, and we are called to  recognize His presence, even in times of trouble.

Part 7 - Flowing From Here On Out
This final chapter and section challenges us to see life differently. It calls us to recognize that we are here for a reason and, therefore, to live our lives on purpose. What is it that God has placed in your hear to accomplish? What is keeping you from doing it? God and change your world.

This book includes many helpful charts and illustrations to assist in self-evaluation. I will be returning to this book often - highly recommended for everyone.

Related Articles:
Book Review: "The Harbinger"
Book Review: "Why Jesus?"
Some Books Worth Reading
Made For Relationship
Seven Keys For A Better Life



     

The Power of the Mind

I've been reading a great book lately by John Ortberg called "The Me I Want To Be." John is a pastor in California and formerly a teaching pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago, where I first heard of him. He's a great communicator and does a great job of making complicated issues understandable for the rest of us.

In his chapter called "Think Great Thoughts" he talks about learning how to monitor our thought patterns. For years now I've been speaking about the Biblical mandate to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind," so this was particularly enlightening to me. It's amazing how much our thought patterns control us, and also how we can deliberately reshape those patterns to make positive change. Here's a great illustration John uses:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue
to taunt me with bizarre,
little dangling objects.
The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream of escape.

Two animals, identical circumstances; totally different experiences. The point is that the focus of our thoughts has a great deal to do with our outcomes. On what do you focus?

I speak to people often whose focus is on their problems and how life has done them wrong. Their mindset filters out any of the good things that may be happening around them and, instead, picks up on, and magnifies, any real or perceived slight. Over their lifetime they have unwittingly helped to create a reality for themselves that is far worse than it needs to be.

This is now scientifically verified. As Ortberg writes, "Even twenty years ago, researchers thought the adult brain was genetically determined and structurally unchangeable. But they have since found that even into adulthood the brain is amazingly changeable - it has neuroplasticity. Which synapses remain and which ones whither away depends on your mental habits. Those that carry no traffic go out of business like bus routes with no customers. Those that get heavily trafficked get stronger and thicker. The mind shapes the brain. Neurons that wire together fire together. In other words, when you practice hope, love or joy, your mind is actually, literally, rewiring your brain!"

It stands to reason then, that Scripture would speak to this. Colossians 3:2 tells us, "Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." One of my life verses, Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Ultimately, how we choose to think is up to us, which is why we can point to people of similar backgrounds who chose radically different paths. Your past, your circumstances, your family background doesn't need to define your future. What I have found helpful is to use God's Word as a filter through which I can interpret events. For example, Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Or Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

So, here's a question, where are your thought patterns taking you? Again, Ortberg writes, "As a general rule, our emotions flow out of our thoughts. Discouraged people tend to think discouraging thoughts. Worried people tend to think anxious thoughts." Conversely, positive people tend to think positive thoughts. Why not begin today to take charge in this area? Think better thoughts to start moving in a better direction.

Related Articles:
Developing Great Habits
“Put God First” - The Principle of Priority
"Take Out the Trash" - The Principle of Transformation
"Write It Down" - The Principle of Clarity
"Turn It Off!" - The Principle of Restoration
"Do It Now" - The Principle of Inertia