End Bullying

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Who came up with that? Almost everyone I know bears the invisible scars of the words of someone from their past, words that lodge themselves deep in the psyche and hurt again and again.

Over the past few months we have been inundated with stories about children being bullied. In the Fall of 2012 it was Amanda Todd of Coquitlam, B.C. who committed suicide after posting a video on you-tube telling her story (Posted below). In my work with people I often hear stories of bullying experiences, sometimes many years old, that have damaged self-esteem and, in some cases, lead to suicide.


 

Schools and governments have been trying to find ways to eliminate bullying, often by focusing on self-esteem or support groups such as the Gay-straight alliance imposed upon Ontario schools by the Ontario government. The challenge is to start enough support groups for each category of person who is bullied. It can't be done.


The sad truth is that there will always be bullies - people who feel better about themselves by inflicting pain on others. I was smaller in High School and was beaten up by some older kids. Others are picked on because of their weight, clothes, haircut, disability, religion; some of them even by teachers.

While this problem will likely never be eradicated, each of us can begin now to make a difference. I think this is where the journey begins. When I decide that I won't let someone be bullied around me, I make a difference. When we choose to reach out to someone who has been marginalized, we make a difference. When we build inclusive communities where everyone is welcome, and no-one is excluded, we make a difference. When we take our negative experiences, and use them to help others, we make a difference. That's what Shane Koyczan did. Watch his video below and share it. I'm sure it will help a lot of people. Be a part of the solution, not the problem.



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In The Know – How Are Teens Affected by the College Application Season?

This is a guest post by Jeannie Burlowski, a U.S. based speaker, consultant, and writer on the subject of brilliance in college and college, graduate, and medical school admissions. She is the primary instructor for “Brilliant in College” Seminars and Conferences – used by pastors, high schools, and colleges to equip both parents and students for academic success and decisive spiritual power during the college years (online at http://www.bebrilliantincollege.com/).

She is also the author of the book 6 Things You Absolutely Must Do to be Brilliant in College (due out in 2012).
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Have you ever tried to stand up in a canoe?

You’re about to launch out into an exciting adventure, and you’re eager to go, but first you have to walk the length of the canoe to get to your seat.

You feel unstable, insecure, and out of balance, like anything you might do could capsize you.

Take that feeling and stretch it out over about four years, and you have some sense of what teens feel from the time they’re 16 until they’re about 20.

It’s called “launch anxiety.”

Experts on teen development call it launch anxiety, and it’s something parents experience too. Imagine a teen and her parents, all standing up in the same canoe, all trying to get balance and footing in this strange new season of life.

Now you have some sense of why life in a home with teens can seem chaotic and out of control.

What do parents and teens grab for, as they try to gain stability?

It times of change, uncertainty, and instability, human beings naturally – instinctively -- grab for something steady and stable to hold onto.

In best case scenarios both parents and teens, separately, intensify and further develop their focus on a steady, unchanging God through a real and relevant relationship with Jesus Christ.

In the words of author Leanne Payne, they “stand up straight into God.” Parents in this posture view their teens as having purpose, a “calling” on their lives – whether ministerial or not. They see their teens as possessing specific gifts from God that will enable and bring excellence to their life’s work. For families in this posture, college (or other post-secondary training or education) makes sense in that it develops the gifts God has specifically given this teen. It’s a means to an end, not an idol to be bowed to.

This is the best-case scenario. In many families, though, reality looks quite different.

Grabbing for what cannot provide stability

Sometimes, even committed Christian parents and teens are tempted to leave off “standing up straight into God” in the crush of the pre-college years.

The tug is insidious and ever present - to bend down, to bow toward the earth and all it provides, to try in vain to “get life” and security and stability from things such as enormous numbers of extracurricular activities, prestigious college admissions, or plans for medicine or aerospace engineering.

“Surely these things are the key to a good life, right?” parents ask each other hesitantly. “There’s nothing wrong with a focus on education… is there?”

When there’s excessive focus, that is a problem.

When the pursuit of the next step in education becomes an idol to be bowed to and worshipped, teens report feeling suffocated and exhausted, and pressured almost beyond their ability to bear it. It’s in situations like these that teens sometimes begin to turn to unhealthy behaviors, in an effort to cope - in an effort to escape.

One teen girl put it this way: “Some people say that figuring out the college stuff is like building a bicycle while riding it, but IT’S NOT. It’s like building a 747 jumbo jet while flying it! You better believe it’s scary.”

I’m a parent. Are there practical things can I do to counteract this?

• Frankly look at whether you might be bent toward the earth, “getting life” from your own education, career, or earning potential. If you are, begin to “stand up straight into God” where your own career and earning potential are concerned.
• At the dinner table or while riding in the car, let your teen know about problems or obstacles you are facing at work. Let him or her know that you are actively praying about these things and listening for God’s response, because God helps people to find ingenious solutions to problems at work.
• Consistently see your work as part of a much bigger picture, and let your teen hear you praying for God’s presence and blessing in that bigger picture.
• Hard as it is in our culture, keep your own work within boundaries, with time carefully set aside for play, rest, worship, and connecting with others. Each time you make this choice, you are communicating to your teen that work is not to be worshipped.
• Seek out and learn a new skill that will help you to be better at your work. Communicate to your teen that you’re excited about the opportunity -- because you’re not just working for a paycheck; your daily secular work is an act of worship to God, and you want to do it as well and as beautifully as possible.
• In age appropriate family meetings, pray together and thank God for your income. Tell God together of your desire to manage your income wisely. Make giving decisions as a family, and then lay the offering check in the middle of the table and pray this prayer: “God, we’re giving this because our family wants to be a part of what you are doing on this earth.” Who could resist the invitation to be a part of something as beautiful as that?

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Let's End Slavery!

Here's a great story. I've shared before about the issue of modern-day slavery. Watch this video about young people who are not just talking about ending slavery - they're doing something about it. I hope this inspires you to make a difference yourself.



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Don't Push Me!

I read a very disturbing story this morning of an 11 year old boy who committed suicide after being bullied. I'll let you read the article yourself rather than regurgitate it all here. But the story raises, once again, the subject of bullying and what can be done.

I was one of the lucky ones. Though I was a smaller kid, and did get beat up once in high school, I was blessed with friends who were bigger than I was and I was somewhat athletic. I tended to hang around with those people because it was not good to be a loner in school.

I remember seeing different kids in my neighborhood get picked on because they couldn't fight back. They would have their books knocked out of their hands, or have snow balls thrown at them or be forced to endure demeaning taunting. I'd like to say that I stood up to the bullies and forced them to change their ways through my powers of persuasion, but the truth is, I usually tried to avoid the situation, even feeling relieved that it wasn't me.

I remember the fear that I felt when I would turn a corner and see those bullies, not knowing if I would be their next target. I cannot imagine what it was like for those for whom this was a daily occurrence. I have had family members and friends bullied and I've seen the pain and even shame in their eyes. It's a very helpless feeling and it's so hard to know what to do.

Looking back from adulthood I think I can see with a lot more clarity some of the reasons that people bully. The bullies I knew usually had horrible self-esteem issues themselves. They came from homes where they were neglected and often abused. I'm not looking to excuse this behavior, but rather to see some of the reasons behind it.

We're all social creatures. We were created for community, and much of our lives are spent trying to find our place within society. It's human nature to want to belong, and all of us know what it's like to walk into a room and immediately begin to scope the crowd for where we might feel welcome - and conversely, where we're pretty sure we won't be. Even as an adult, there are times when I've walked into settings and got that horrible, sinking feeling that I did not "belong."

One easy way for kids to move up in the social order is to pull others down - make someone else the target so that we are not targeted ourselves -almost a pre-emptive strike, if you like. It doesn't only happen with individuals, but with people groups as well. Look at the history of immigration in this country for an example. At different times in our nation's history derogatory terms were hurled at the Irish, the Chinese, Ethiopians, Pakistanis, Arabs, and many others. There is a stigma attached to not fitting in. This has been the case throughout human history.

All of this makes the words and actions of Jesus remarkable. If you want to see an effective pattern for inclusivity, look at what Jesus modelled. In a culture with clearly divided lines of status, Jesus broke all kinds of cultural barriers. At a time when children and women were considered second-class citizens, Jesus gave priority and validity to both. He also declared that, for anyone who wanted to be a part of what he was doing, they needed to accept people the same way. (Luke 18:15-17)

In another story we see Jesus reaching out across cultures and social boundaries. In a time when respectable Jews would not travel through Samaria because the people there were seen to be unclean half-breeds, Jesus purposefully travelled through. He stopped at a well and sent his disciples into town to find lunch (and probably to keep them from getting in his way). A woman came to get water. She came at a time when she knew the other women wouldn't be there. Her reputation wasn't the best and she likely wasn't up to hearing the gossip and put-downs. Jesus, knowing her reputation and knowing her Samaritan roots, engaged her in a conversation anyway (John 4). She became the first Samaritan evangelist, immediately calling all of her fellow villagers to come and see this extra-ordinary man.

The church which Jesus began has a call to be just such an inclusive community, and it is to our shame that we haven't always lived up to the high standard set for us. The Apostle Paul, writing in Galatians 3:28, said "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." No matter who you are, no matter where you've been or what you've done, the message of the Gospel is that you can find a home and family in the church. I've seen it happen and it's a beautiful thing.

It is this kind of acceptance that needs to be modeled in our schools and elsewhere. We are all valuable because we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). We can love one another because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). Because we are secure in our identity as God's children, we do not feel the compulsion to drag others down, but instead we can build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

This is the kind of community we strive to build with church. We all need to feel like we belong because God made us for community. What are you doing to build community? When was the last time you reached out to someone who was not in your circle? Chances are, most people you meet are facing a challenge of some sort or another. Do your best to greet them with a smile and an open heart. You never know, you may be saving a life.

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Life As A Teenager

I'm building, today, on an article from Lovell/Fairchild Communications by Monique Zondag dealing with the pressures that today's teenagers face in High School. While this is based on the American experience, having worked with teens I can safely say that the pressures are very similar.

Teen Expert Andy Braner on What’s Being Taught Outside the Classroom

“Parents have no clue what’s going on in the hallways of the high school,” said Andy Braner, founder and operator of KIVU, a Christian camp near Durango, Colo.; an international speaker talking to 80,000 teens each year; and author of the recently released An Expose on Teens, Sex and Dating: What’s Really Going on and How to Talk About It.

“The number one issue, without a doubt, is that kids are walking through high school, church and home, and they feel alone, as if no one cares about them. They feel worthless,” Braner said. “The veneer, how the loneliness shows itself, is in teen sexuality, a way to feel as if they do have attention, worth — and they’re bombarded with sex at every turn.”

Braner offers this list of 5 key issues confronting teens today whether from their peers, the media or society.

Sexuality — More and more teens are falling prey to an uneducated view of their own sexuality, Braner said. They are relentlessly pressured to fit in and often compromise their values to do so. Evidence? Check the language they're using online, Braner advised, it’s often more X-rated than parents know.

Teen Fact: Almost half of high school students have had sexual intercourse with almost 14 percent having four or more partners. (2009, Centers for Disease Control)

Pressure to Perform — Today’s teen is pushed to excel in everything from athletics to academics. Every kid has a gift, Braner said, and sometimes their particular gift doesn't line up with the way society asks them to perform, so they find themselves more and more exhausted trying to be someone they're not.

Teen Fact: Doctors warned of the downside of over-committed teens in 2008, cautioning about living with "pressure-filled intense preparation for a high-achieving adulthood," (“Pediatrics: The Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics,”)


Loneliness — This is the biggest issue kids face today, Braner said. They shape themselves to be someone everyone will find valuable, often compromising everything they know to be true to find friends. Drugs, alcohol and teen issues are a veneer covering the deep hurt teens are dealing with through rejection.

Teen Fact: Over a quarter of teens report underage drinking with more than 17 percent binge drinking. (2009, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)

Hopelessness — Kids don’t have an optimistic view of the future, in part because they see the economy affecting their own families and wonder if there will be opportunity for them when they become adults.

Teen Fact: A quarter of high school students struggle with feelings of hopelessness. (2010, Centers for Disease Control)

Severe Narcissism — Many kids are succumbing to the idea they are the most important part of the universe. Everything exists to please them. From every direction — in the media, through technology, online — kids are being trained to think only about themselves.

Teen Fact: A study showed over 65 percent of teens scoring above average on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, double the percentage of 30 years ago. (Jean Twenge, Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled and More Miserable Than Ever, Free Press, 2006)

What should be parents’ reaction to this reality? Braner said the answer is helping teens develop a deeper understanding of reality. As an example, a distinctive of Camp KIVU, in addition to traditional camp activities such as hiking, backpacking and water sports, is an intentional effort to let teens ask the hard questions about life and faith and begin to develop a biblically based Christian worldview that can withstand the pressures of the hallway.

As for what parents can do, Braner advises that parents who want their kids to have a meaningful faith . . . need to have a meaningful faith. Teens effortlessly sniff out hypocrisy and will run the other way. Additionally, it’s not enough for parents to spend time with kids. They need to spend time effectively, connecting in areas that interest their kids and reinforcing the rules they lay down by having solid relationships behind the rules.

"My goal is to help parents and those working with teenagers walk students through the most confusing time of their lives,” Braner said. “With hormones blazing and sexuality being sold at every single turn, teens need a place where they can ask hard questions — and have some answers.”

In addition to his book, Braner writes a popular blog — Andy Braner Is Re-Imagining the Christian Worldview — where he explores a variety of topics.

Let's look at some of the keys to help teens navigate those difficult High School years.

1. Parental Involvement
Parents need to know and care about what's going on in the life of their teenager. Too many kids are desperate for the attention of their parents. If they don't get it in healthy ways they will get it in other ways. Invest time in your teenager. Set limits and enforce them. Be a parent first and a friend second.

2. Talk
One of the greatest challenges, I believe, is to get people (teenagers included) to think critically. Part of the reason that peer pressure holds such sway over a teenager is the limited perspective many of them have. I remember way back in High School thinking that the friends I had then would be my best friends for life. The reality is that there are very few that I ever saw again. If I had the power to look down the road a few years I would have made some different decisions.

Talk about the issues. Why do you believe what you believe? Learn to defend your worldview so that you can help them to think critically themselves.

3. Build Healthy Community
Everyone longs to belong. If your child doesn't have a healthy place where they can truly feel that they belong, they will gravitate to whoever will accept them. Love them unconditionally. Teach them early to discern and to reach up when choosing close friends. The power of association has a great deal of impact on us. If you want to see into the future, look at what your child is reading and watching, and who they are hanging around with, because that is likely what they will become. Encourage them to get involved with sports, clubs and youth groups that will bring out the best in them and teach them discipline and teamwork. Let them know that you believe in them and cheer them as they try.

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I Love Me!

I was having a conversation earlier today with my Youth Pastor and my Children’s Pastor about ministering to different generations, and how difficult that is. Then my cousin, Connie Denbok, another pastor, posted a link to an article that spoke to some of those differences. It was a New York Times article by John Tierney called “A Generation’s Vanity, Heard Through Lyrics.”

The article was not very flattering at all. It spoke of the trend of youth culture away from community and towards selfishness and narcissism. This quote gives the basic findings: “Dr. DeWall and other psychologists report finding what they were looking for: a statistically significant trend toward narcissism and hostility in popular music. As they hypothesized, the words “I” and “me” appear more frequently along with anger-related words, while there’s been a corresponding decline in “we” and “us” and the expression of positive emotions.”

So, according to these psychiatric professionals, there is a trend among our youth and young adults to think of the world through a very ego-centric lens. As John Maxwell would say, we’re all tuned into the same station – WII-FM (What’s In It For Me?) My question is twofold, is this true and why? Of course, I realise, as do the authors of this study, that we speak in general terms. There are exceptions to every rule.

There have been some interesting studies done over the years about generational differences. Every marketing firm uses the characterizations and preferences of the different generations to develop their marketing strategies. The most common generations we deal with are:
Traditionalists - Born between 1925 – 1945
Baby Boomers - Born between 1946 - 1964
Generation X - Born between 1965 – 1980
Generation Y / Millennials - Born between 1980 – 1995

Each of these generations have very different influences. Traditionalists, for example, lived through either or both of the Great Depression and World War 2. Because they've known real hard times, they have a tendency to prefer stability over risk and to shun debt in favour of living within their means. They also tend to trust authority and value loyalty.

Their children, the Boomers, experienced the surge in the worldwide economy after World War 2, the growing impact of television and inter-continental travel, as well as incredible technological advancement. They also saw the Vietnam War and the Civil Rights Movement lived out in their living rooms through TV. Because of all of these influences, Boomers tend to be optimistic, competitive and questioning of authority.

The next generation, Gen X grew up with MTV, Video Games, Personal Computers, and often alone. In their time the divorce rate tripled, both parents were often working and many were latch key children. This group is known for their skepticism. Because of continued advancements in communications, they are eclectic in their beliefs, blending different belief systems. They also tend to be resourceful, self-reliant and adaptive to change.

The generation spoken of in the article is largely made up of the Gen Y/ Millennials. These guys (North Americans) have grown up with a cell phone or blackberry in their hand. They've played every video game system out there. They've also witnessed the rise of terrorism and 9/11, and the increasing concern over the environment. They tend to be more of a realistic generation. They are globally concerned, value diversity and change, flexibility and recognition.

To speak now to the question(s) raised by the article. Is it true that they are narcissistic and selfish, and if so, why? Leaving behind the anecdotal evidence we all could use, what are the factors that could contribute to this? I think there are many. For one, there's the spotlight we've placed on the issue of self-esteem. As psychologist Lauren Slater writes, "Based on our beliefs, we have created self-esteem programs in schools in which the main objective is, as Jennifer Coon-Wallman, a psychotherapist based in Boston, says, 'to dole out huge heapings of praise, regardless of actual accomplishment.'"

We've also eliminated competition in many of our children's sports. There's even a push on now to stop keeping score in children's hockey games, because we may hurt the self-esteem of the losing team. According to Slater and others, there's a growing body of evidence that people with low self-esteem will not necessarily become the underachieving failures we thought. In fact, many with low self-esteem actually turn this to their advantage. They try harder. In fact, "the discrepancy between high self-esteem scores and poor social skills and academic acumen led researchers like Nicholas Emler of the London School of Economics and Roy Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University to consider the unexpected notion that self-esteem is overrated and to suggest that it may even be a culprit, not a cure."

Another factor to consider is an almost limitless exposure to media. They have grown up with the world at their disposal: music, movies, internet, information..., all on demand. When we get what we want, when we want it, and we're told we deserve it, doesn't it follow that we grow to believe the world does revolve around us? I think it certainly is true that many of today's musicians have bought into this and are promoting the "I Love Me" doctrine.

Yet, I've also seen another side to this generation. I've seen many with a very real desire to make a difference. Many of today's youth seem to be looking for a cause to believe in. I think that this is one of the greatest challenges of the church - to present the counter-cultural Gospel of Jesus Christ to a new generation and call them to rise above the trend towards selfishness and to truly make a difference.

How do you counter a lie? Obviously, with the truth. Jesus Christ claims to be the truth, and calls us to join Him in changing the way the world operates. His Gospel, lived out, will turn the world on its ear. Do you want to be great in God's Kingdom? Serve. See Mother Teresa or Sandra Tineo if you want an example. Do you really love God? Fight injustice. Follow the lead of men like Martin Luther King, Jr. and William Wilberforce. Are you tired of dysfunctional families? Love your own. Jesus changed centuries of ingrained prejudice and respected the personhood of women and children. Follow his example.

The truth is, regardless of the generation in which we were born, all of us are deeply flawed, but God loves us anyway. Each of us must choose how we respond to the love of God extended to us. The proud reject God, believing that they don't need Him; but God is drawn to the humble (James 4:6). The Bible tells us that there's really nothing wrong with loving ourselves - as long as we love God first. His love enables us to love ourselves and others. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, here is what He said: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:37-40)

The world is a messed up place. It's easy for us to turn inward. But, as John Andrew Holmes said, "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."

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Short-term Missions - Good or Bad?

I've been reading a lot lately about the subject of Missions. I'm finding, more and more, that the practice of sending teams on short-term missions is being called into question. It used to be thought that this was one of the best ways to share the love of God with those less fortunate - send a group of compassionate people into a needy area to accomplish a prescribed task and build relationships.

However, some have criticised this practice, (see article) saying that there are rarely long-term positive effects and that, often, it creates an unhealthy dependence on foreigners on the part of locals. It also can draw long-term missionaries away from "real" ministry in order to accommodate short-termers' need to "get something done."

As a pastor, and one who has spent some limited time on the field, I see both sides of this argument. On the one hand, I appreciate that the problems of the majority world (developing countries) are far too complex to solve overnight or in a week or two. On the other hand, I've seen the benefit that exposure to the mission field can have in a person's life; often, it's transformational.

I believe that the answer is both/and. As a local church, we've set a goal of having all of our youth be a part of a short-term missions trip before they graduate from high school. We've taken youth to Northern Ontario to run basketball clinics, do church repairs and community outreach. We've sent teams to The Dream Center in the inner city of Los Angeles and worked on skid row and ministered to children in the streets. We've also sent teams to work with Haitian refugees in the hills above Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic. They've built homes, fed children, helped in schools and built relationships.

The reason we've established this goal is that we believe exposure to those less fortunate helps us to expand our worldview and become more compassionate as people. Our hope is that a taste of missions will encourage generosity throughout our lives and even provide the spark for some who will devote their lives to full-time missions work. We also hope that our teams will see the good that is being done elsewhere and adapt some of these tools to help in our own community.

At the same time, we look for ways to be involved in long-term missions. That may mean supporting a North American missionary in another country or providing on-going support and partnership with Christian workers native to those countries. One of the key words emerging lately is that of relationship. Missions, at its base, must be about building long-term, healthy, relationships with people who have the potential to bring about real change.

I know that my 9 week stay in Malta in the early '90's and my trips to the Dominican Republic and The Dream Center have profoundly changed the way I see the church and its role in the world. It has helped me change the way that I think about people, and to understand that each person deserves to have the gospel presented to them in a way that they can understand.

I'd really like to hear from those of you who have been on short-term trips yourself. Where did you go? How has it affected you? What do you think was accomplished? Do you recommend the experience to others? Let me know your thoughts.

Articles of Interest:
Dream On
Life On The Other Side
Dominican Republic - 2010

The "A" Word

Abortion is one of the most volatile issues out there, and most people like to avoid the subject like the plague. I have to admit that it's a topic I don't like to think about because of the emotions that are quick to rise to the surface. However, over the last couple of days there were two recently released articles that brought the issue to the front-burner once more.

The first was from Canoe News which reported that, in Canada, women aged 15-19 reported 150 abortions per every 100 live births. In other words, abortion is now being used as birth control among our youth. The second article, from Newsweek, reports that in Asia there are now 100,000,000 more men than women. This disparity has resulted largely from selective abortions and infanticide. Boys are more valued in Asia and, therefore, many (most?) choose to abort girls.

I think that these two stories go together because they really show the progression of thought once we devalue human life. It was one thing to excuse people's ignorance when abortion first rose to prominence. After all, the fetus was thought to be just a blob of tissue, and certainly not a person. But as modern technology has advanced we have found out how quickly the human fetus develops within the womb.

This in itself is illustrative of the catch 22 situation in which we find ourselves. On the one hand, we're now able to do "in utero" surgery in one wing of a hospital while performing abortions on babies of the same gestation in another wing. This, in my mind, is nothing short of schizophrenic. If a child is viable enough to have surgery, how can they not be human? And if they are human, how can they not be worthy of protection?

Then we look at the situation in Asia, with 100 million more boys than girls. I've read articles where people have complained about selective abortions - that it's not right to abort based on gender - and I agree. But if it's wrong to abort a child because it's female, is it not also wrong to abort a male? What makes it wrong? It is either wrong or a matter of preference, but you can't have it both ways.

I hear and read in popular media that this issue is settled and Canadians don't want to talk about it. I don't believe that. My experience is that many people are not informed and many do want to talk about it. As stated earlier, we know a lot more today than we used to, yet we still allow almost unlimted access to abortion for any reason. My firm belief is that future generations will look back on this issue the way we look back on those who held slaves. They'll shake their heads and wonder how civilized people could ever do such a thing.

Dream On

I just returned this weekend from a week's stay at a place called the Dream Center in downtown Los Angeles. I took four teens to volunteer our services in their ministries to those living in the inner city. It was an eye-opening experience.

The week was designed to give us an idea of the various ministries that operate out of the Dream Center, so each day was different. We unloaded some of the skids of corporate donations of food and repacked them for distribution to some of the poorer neighborhoods. We made sandwiches and took lunch and water to Santa Monica Beach and conducted an outreach to homeless youth. Some of our team worked in the kitchen for a morning, preparing for one of the three meals each day served from the cafeteria which feeds hundreds daily.

We went on a special mission one day to deliver and assemble bunk-beds and other furniture for a family whose children were sleeping on the floor. Family services were going to put the children in foster care if they couldn't get beds. We traveled to skid row, where thousands sleep on the street each night. We brought a hot meal and served 80-100 people.

We went to visit people who were living under a bridge. It was my most memorable experience. I had the chance to talk with a middle-aged woman named Cecilia. She welcomed me and introduced me to her friends who shared the shelter. She invited me to sit in a broken office chair she had picked up somewhere, while her puppy wagged its tail contentedly. We brought her a blanket and some water for which she was very grateful. I asked how long she had lived here, she smiled and said that this had been her home for five years. It was much better than skid row, her previous home. Later I found out that drug addiction had brought her down to skid row, but now she was clean and trying to stay that way. The Center will offer her a new start when she's ready. Before we left she called her friends over and we joined hands and prayed for God's protection on her. Our friend Matt promised to visit her soon with some more water and canned goods. By the way, while we were there a freight train came through her front yard and dropped some medical supplies, a regular occurrence. I appreciate my home so much more now than before.

On Saturday some of us gathered on buses which we had previously loaded with supplies for the Adopt-A-Block program. The buses carried food and other necessities to neighborhoods which were a part of the regular rotation. The buses were filled with volunteers who piled off and gathered up the neighborhood kids to play at a local park while food was distributed to the parents. Then teams went out door-to-door to see what was needed. Sometimes it may be a specific practical need, often it was just advice, prayer or a listening ear. But you could tell that the regular volunteers had become family to these people. As the buses rolled up, people would come out of their homes and welcome the workers they knew by name. Afterwards many of the area youth returned on the bus to the Dream Center for basketball and to hang out until the youth service - a high-energy inspirational event at nearby Angelus Temple.

My son, Levi, had the opportunity to play to a different type of crowd than he was used to at the weekly coffee house for Hope For Homeless Youth. Another of our team spent that night working with a local chef who was preparing for the next day's outreach and baptism at Venice Beach. He worked from 10 PM until 2 AM and was back at it the next day for another 8 hours.

We also had the chance to travel with Metro Kids into the neighborhoods to do outreach to children. Our team leader was a man who had been reached through a program just like this. It aims to provide positive adult role models to kids who are constantly bombarded by gang violence, crime, poverty and the effects of family disintegration. You have to see the expression on the children's faces to realize just how much of a difference is being made.

The scope of this largely volunteer outreach was staggering. Literally hundreds of volunteers each week make this "church that never sleeps" effective. In the dorms are scores of people who are working their way through rehab programs. Many of the staff and volunteer leaders are graduates of the program. Joining them are interns from all over the world who have come to learn, work and make a difference.

There are too many stories to tell and many memories, sights and smells which words cannot describe, but I wanted to try. When I imagine the type of church that Jesus intended when He established it, this is what it looks like. I'm glad for the experience. Thanks from a small town in Ontario, Canada. Pictures will follow.

Advice From Bill Gates

Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. I thought this was something certainly worth sharing. Maybe I'll follow this up with lessons I've learned over the couple of years I've been out of High School.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school and you won’t be a vice-president of a company until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.